Fight or flight
by jammin287
Summary: It's haunted Remus for three years, and now he has to know why. When Sirius tells him the truth, what will Remus do? Will he fight for the only friend he has left, or will he leave the murderer to rot in Azkaban? FINISHED. Currently being updated to remove any errors and to change little bits that I'm unhappy with. Up to Chapter 5.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1 - Cold_

_Death leaves a heartache no one can heal – Author unknown_

The cold was mind numbing. It made his muscles scream with agony. His breath misted in the air as he tried to force himself forward. It didn't work. He seemed rooted in place by something. Cold bands of guilt wrapped themselves around his chest, choking him, forcing him to stop. It wasn't fair. He hadn't meant to hurt anybody, and yet his actions had led to the ruin of everything that he had loved. He fell to his knees, sobs tearing from his chest. It was all his fault, and there was nothing he could do about it. The only people left had abandoned him a long time ago. The worst thing was that he'd never had a chance to explain.

He heard a voice, a slightly hoarse, anger fuelled voice. It reminded him of a time, long ago. A happy time. A peaceful time. But that wasn't quite right, was it? The war had been creeping up on them, even then. Looking back he realized, he had never known peace. He'd never been able to go to the park as a child, not a care in the world. He'd never been able to marvel at the beauty of the moon and the stars, too afraid of the things lurking in the dark. He'd never been able to go out with his friends, their only worry being who was paying. He had been robbed. And it was all because of one man.

Something tall and black appeared in front of him. It's mere presence made him feel worse, it was like it personified cold. He couldn't move, rooted to the spot by the feelings of guilt, grief and terror that waged a war within him, as if fighting for dominance. The thing moved behind him, out of his range of vision. It moved towards him and he cringed away. It led him to a room, a cold dark room. There was a chair in front of him and he was pushed towards it. The moment he settled into the chair, chains coiled around his calves and wrists, effectively trapping him in the chair. That felt right, after all he was a prisoner.

A door was opened and a man was ushered into the seat opposite him. The man leant away from the light, as if hiding himself from view. He was steeling himself for what he was about to say, but the prisoner didn't know that. The prisoner dropped his head to his chest, not understanding what was happening. He'd been in the cold for a long time, but he'd never been where he was now. He was normally left to his own thoughts, which were worse than what anybody could do to him. And he would know, he had endured most of what could be done to someone. In a previous life though, he thought he'd been here for most of his life. He couldn't remember anything else, apart from guilt and what his nightmares showed him.

The man leant forward. The prisoner knew that face. The light brown eyes that almost seemed golden, the dark blonde hair, and the pale skin. It was a face that he'd thought about nearly every day since he'd been here. It was like the man had thrown him a life ring and he had been drowning, but without realizing. Memories were beginning to resurface, memories of a raven-haired man and a red haired woman, of a green-eyed baby and a man with a rat like face. Uncontrollable rage filled him then, a rage so hot and sustaining that he felt the cold diminish. He had to explain, the man had to know that it hadn't been him.

"Sirius? Sirius!" A small smile flickered over the prisoner's face for a moment. Sirius. That was his name. Why had he not known that? He frowned, his face darkening. The blonde haired man was looking at the prisoner in shock, as if shocked to see his former best friend in such a state. Sirius had once prized himself on being muscular, handsome and having perfect hair. He was gaunt, his muscles wasted and a haunted look in his eyes. Sirius couldn't say anything. He'd waited and hoped for this day, the day when he finally got to explain, and now it was actually here he didn't know what to say.

"R-Remus? Is that you?" Sirius' voice cracked and failed as he stared at the man who had once been one of his best friends as if hardly daring to hope.

"Who else would it be?" Remus joked, and then his face fell as he remembered where he was and why he was there. He couldn't let himself forget what Sirius had done, even when he looked so pitiful. Rage filled his voice as he asked the one question he'd obviously been asking himself for a long time. "Why? Why did you do it?"

"I didn't. I would never… I wasn't their secret keeper" Sirius answered croakily, not really expecting Remus to believe him. Now that he had his chance he realized how absurd it all sounded.

Remus was stunned, he hadn't expected Sirius to flat out lie to him. "Don't lie! I was there when they asked you!"

He didn't have a hope in hell of convincing Remus, but he ploughed on with the story, at least wanting Remus to know the truth. He owed him that much, after what he had done. "No, they changed secret keeper…to Peter. I thought I could keep them safe, I thought we could trick Voldemort. If everyone thought I was the secret keeper, they'd all come after me. They could have done anything to me, but I couldn't tell them anything, because I didn't know"

Remus stared at the man that had once been his friend. It didn't sound like something James would have done, but then again the war had changed them all so much. He shook his head. It was absurd. "Why should I believe you?"

Sirius stared at him in shock, for the first time in years allowing a small shoot of hope to settle in his mind. His voice came out a hoarse whisper as he stared at Remus, begging him to see beyond the obvious. "Because, I wouldn't… I couldn't betray James and Lily. They were my life! And why would I do that to my godson? To Harry?"

Remus' voice was cold and hard as he spat out answer, fury written all over his face. "How should I know how a murderer thinks?"

Sirius' eyes widened as Remus rose to his feet, the shadow of the wolf on his face as he stared at Sirius with loathing in his eyes. "No…Please…Moony please…you have to believe me"

"You dare? You lost the right to call me that when you brutally murdered everyone I ever loved" Remus hissed, before turning around and walking out of the door.

Sirius stared after him in shock and horror. He'd had his one chance to prove his innocence and he'd failed. He'd let himself hope and it had got him nowhere. He felt worse than he had before Remus had come. If only he had a way of proving it. Without Peter he wouldn't be able to convince anyone. And he didn't know where Peter was. Remus wouldn't come back, he knew that much. He'd failed – again.


	2. Chapter 2  Belief

_Chapter 2 – Belief_

_Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it – Buddha _

Remus was furious. How dare he? How dare that murderer lie about Peter? What did he have against Peter anyway? Remus knew that of the four marauders, Sirius and Peter had always got on the worst, but this beyond a mere disagreement. He'd actually accused Peter of betraying them all, of being the one behind it all. It was absurd; Peter had never been clever enough to do something like that. Not to mention that Sirius was the one who'd brutally murdered Peter and twelve other Muggles.

His trip to Azkaban had done nothing to answer the one question that had bothered him since that night. It had only made him feel worse. He'd thought he'd known Sirius, but he'd played them all. He'd taken everything away from Remus in one fell swoop. It wasn't fair. Remus swore, but it did nothing to make him feel any better. Seeing Sirius made the raw grief come back, like it had just happened. Tears leaked from his light brown eyes.

There was one question that bothered him most; why would Sirius bother lying? Remus had been there when Lily had asked him to be their secret keeper. Did Sirius think he would have forgotten? Or did he think that Remus hadn't played that night over and over in his head, wondering where it all went wrong, how nobody had noticed the monster that Sirius had become. But then again, they said Azkaban would ruin a man, he was probably desperate for something, anything to cling to. He had everything to gain and nothing to lose, so he was probably hoping that Remus would forgive him, like he'd done with the Whomping Willow incident. That had probably been the first time that Remus had seen the true nature of Sirius Black, the first sign that all was not well with Sirius. How had he missed it?

Remus climbed into bed, hoping desperately for sleep that deep down he knew wouldn't come. He lay in bed, staring sightlessly at the ceiling for hours. The image of Sirius' haunted face lingered in front of his eyes, as if burned in his skull. He couldn't help the pang of pity that went through him as he thought about what Sirius had been reduced to. It was almost instantly smothered by an unquenchable rage. A rage so strong that it forced him out of bed. It was cold without the blankets, but the rage he felt was more than enough to sustain him. He grabbed the first thing his hand fell on and he hurled it at the wall, letting out a yell of rage and unimaginable pain. It made him feel slightly better and he grabbed the next thing on his bedside table.

It was a picture of James, Lily and Harry, taken not long after he was born. He couldn't throw that, they were already broken enough. He gazed at the photo hungrily, almost wishing that he could fall through the glass. He suddenly felt drained, the rage that had filled him a moment ago gone, wiped away by the smiles on James and Lily's faces. He collapsed to the floor, grasping the photograph like a lifeline. Tears were dripping down his cheeks but he decided he didn't care. "James…I'm so sorry…how did I not see what he was?" Remus choked out, still staring at the photo.

OoOoOo

When Remus woke up he was still holding the photograph tightly to his chest, not willing to let it go. He was still crumpled on the floor having cried himself to sleep. He climbed to his feet, trying to ignore the protests of his joints. He grabbed some clothes and stepped into the small shower, letting the water wash over the scars that littered his body. Full moons were a lot worse since James and Peter died. The wolf had been part of a pack at school, and it didn't understand where the pack had gone.

Remus dressed quickly, suddenly aware of how hungry he was. He made himself some toast and was just about to eat it when an owl swooped into the room. The tawny owl looked like one of the Hogwarts owls and Remus knew instantly who it was from. The owl dropped the letter it was carrying in the butter and swooped back out again. Remus stared at the envelope for a moment before deciding to open it.

_Remus_

_I have urgent matters that I need to discuss with you. Please come and see me at your earliest convenience._

_Yours truly_

_Albus Dumbledore_

Remus' heart sank. He knew what Dumbledore wanted to talk about. Dumbledore had told him not to go to Azkaban and Remus had gone anyway. He had to know. Surely Dumbledore knew that. It had done him no good anyway; Sirius hadn't even answered his question instead making up some cock-and-bull story about Peter. Remus could deal with most things, but insulting the man that Sirius himself had brutally murdered was going too far. The rage lit up with him again, settling near his heart as he prepared to go and see Dumbledore.

OoOoOo

Hogsmeade hadn't changed a bit since he was last here. He could almost forget everything as he strolled down the street; pretend that everything was the same as when he was 16. He could almost see James and Lily walking down the cobbled street, almost hear his cries of annoyance as James threw a snowball at him. He even thought he could nearly feel the weight of bags laden with Zonko's products. The closed gates at Hogwarts brought him crashing back to reality. A silent barrier of actuality. They'd always been open when he needed to pass through them before, but then, he was no longer a student. Those good days were behind him.

The gate swung open silently and Remus walked through cautiously. The grounds still looked the same and the sight lifted his spirits. Sirius may have ruined everything he had, but he hadn't been able to touch this. Smiling bitterly, Remus walked towards the castle, steeling himself for what was surely to come from Dumbledore.

He reached Dumbledore's office and stopped. He didn't know the password, and there was no way he could guess. He turned to the gargoyle, which had been watching him curiously. "Er…I'm here to see the headmaster, he wanted to see me. I'm Remus Lupin by the way"

"I knew you looked familiar! Go on up" the gargoyle replied jovially. It leapt aside and Remus stepped through and stepped onto the ascending staircase. He'd been to this office far too often to be amazed by the strange instruments that littered the room. He'd always been confused by what they all did as a teenager, and even now as an adult he didn't know what they did. James had always said that they were just for show and that they served no purpose other than to make the headmaster look smart. Remus smiled briefly and then stopped, even now thinking about James was painful.

"Headmaster, you wished to see me?" Remus asked, hoping he didn't sound too like a nervous schoolboy.

"Ah, Remus, yes I did. Have a seat," Dumbledore said lightly, his blue eyes surveying him as he shuffled into the office. His voice took on a more serious tone. "I was under the impression that I warned you not to go to Azkaban?"

Remus paused before answering. "Yes, you did. But I had to know, I need to know why" Remus defended, trying to keep the hint of desperation of his voice.

Dumbledore sighed and looked pointedly at Remus over his half-moon glasses. "There are no reasons that people like us can understand for acts like that. I know this can't have been easy for you, but I was trying to protect you", He stopped and gave Remus a piercing look. "What's bothering you?"

Remus looked up, surprised that Dumbledore could tell something was wrong. Remus wasn't even sure what it was until the words spilled forth from his mouth. "Something Black said. He said 'Why would I betray Harry?' and that's a question that's haunted me for a long time. Why would he? The Sirius I knew would have died for that little boy without even stopping to think"

"The Sirius you knew obviously never existed Remus. Isn't that what you said to me when he was arrested?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

Damn Dumbledore and his memory. "I may have, but you didn't see him Professor. You didn't see the look in his eyes. He looked desperate for me to understand"

"How do you know he wasn't desperate for any chance of escape? Remus, the evidence was overwhelming. He was their secret keeper, we were both there"

"He said they changed secret keeper…to Peter"

"And you believed him? You believed his lies about the poor man that he killed? Remus this is why I warned you not to go to Azkaban, we already know that he was capable of deceiving us all once, what's to stop him from trying again?"

Remus didn't answer. He was conflicted. What Dumbledore said made perfect sense, but those questions about Sirius wouldn't leave him alone. "Remus, his crimes were so heinous, and it was so obviously him that he didn't even need a trial. He murdered thirteen people and betrayed countless people, including James and Lily, to Voldemort. He lied through his teeth for years. Why the sudden interest in what he has to say?"

"BECAUSE HE WAS MY FRIEND!" Remus was stunned. He wasn't generally an angry person, and yet in the last day he had thrown a vase at the wall and shouted at Dumbledore. Dumbledore stared back at him calmly, not bothered in the slightest that Remus had just shouted at him. Remus sighed. He didn't know why he was defending Sirius, but he felt like it was right. He didn't know what to believe anymore. Either way, this was going to be a long conversation.


	3. Chapter 3  Despair

_Chapter 3 – Despair_

_Absence from whom we love is worse than death, and frustrates hope severer than despair – __William Cowper _

A slight scraping noise brought Sirius' attention back to the present. One of the things, dementors was placing a plate on the floor. Sirius was ravenous. As soon as the dementor had withdrawn its scaly hand Sirius practically threw himself at the plate. There was a slice of old bread (which Sirius shoved in his mouth in one go) and a weird mush that Sirius assumed had once been vegetables. Mind you, he wasn't really in any condition to turn his nose up at food, no matter how disgusting it looked. He scooped it up with the spoon he'd been given and poured the slush into his mouth. It was disgusting. It tasted suspiciously of peas, and he'd never liked peas. He could remember giving Harry peas once, and having them thrown back at his face almost instantly. He smiled, and then the smile fell off his face.

It hurt to think of Harry. That poor little boy whose life had been ruined by none other than yours truly. He could never forgive himself for that. He may not have held the wand that killed them, but he was the reason that the Potter's were dead. All because he'd trusted the wrong man. Peter. That rat. They should have known. It was obvious really, but they'd missed all of the signs. So really, the only ones to blame were themselves.

But nobody knew. He was the only person who knew the truth. Everybody believed the lie that Peter had set up. And there was nothing he could do about it. Not that he hadn't tried. He'd tried to tell Remus the truth, but he'd stormed out when Sirius told him that his supposed victim was the guilty one. He hadn't believed him and he'd made Sirius really start to hope. The pain of that failed hope was almost too much to bear. He'd thought that Remus was his life ring, but now he'd left Sirius to drown.

It was all so unfair. But then, as his mother had always gleefully reminded him, life wasn't fair. Not to Sirius anyway. He'd had eleven years of dislike and abuse and then ten years of relative happiness. That was if it could be called happiness in the middle of a war. There were so many things they'd all missed out on. But then the war had brought them things too. It had brought them all closer, it had brought Lily to them and probably most importantly it had brought them Harry.

He couldn't let himself think like that. He'd go mad if he just sat in here, dwelling on what he could and should have done. What he'd lost. He had to focus on the fact that it wasn't him. He wasn't the traitor. That was Wormtail. He couldn't even bring himself to say the name. He was out there somewhere. He was finally getting the last laugh.

OoOoOo

The cold was so intense that it made him want to cry out. It was as if his blood had been replaced by icy water and his heart replaced by a shard of ice. It was so cold that he was surprised that he hadn't caught hypothermia yet. It made it even harder to move, because he didn't have enough reasons not to bother. His knee, as usual, felt like it was going to fall off. He almost wished it would. That was another souvenir from the war. He'd been stabbed in the knee during a raid; severing the tendons, ripping the muscles and puncturing the bone. He'd been off his feet for over a month. His body was covered in these little 'souvenirs' from the war. His back was damaged from when he'd been thrown into a wall and his hands were covered in scars.

Despite all the injuries and the cold, and the anguished screams and pitiful whimpers of the other inmates, there was something worse in Azkaban. The dementors. They drained all the happy memories and emotions out of a person, leaving them with only their worst thoughts. Sirius could see the faces, and the broken bodies of all the people that he should have saved during the war. They followed him wherever he moved, dead eyes staring at him. They didn't even leave when he fell asleep, infesting his nightmares, always mocking, accusing.

It was enough to drive a man insane. Many of the prisoners had gone insane. Not Sirius though. He knew he wasn't meant to be here. There were things he should be doing. Like finding the rat and making him pay. Like raising his beautiful godson. But there was no way out of here, he'd lost his one faint hope. Sirius couldn't help it. He despaired of ever getting justice.

A tear made its way down his face. It landed on his hand and he stared at it like he'd never seen anything so beautiful or perfect before in his life, and yet be so heart breaking at the same time. He couldn't help himself, once the first tear fell he couldn't make them stop. Soon he was shaking as sobs tore from his chest. He cried for James and Lily, and for Harry. He cried for Remus. But most of all he cried for himself. "James…I-I'm so sorry…I did everything…everything I could think of… but it wasn't enough" It never was where Sirius was concerned.

At least nobody could ever say that he didn't try. He tried, he really did, to make Remus see the truth, but even he knew that it sounded absurd. Didn't make it any easier to deal with. All he wanted was for the Ministry to realise what a cock-up it had made and let him out. He wanted the chance to see his godson, to tell him about his mother and father. But none of that would ever happen. That is, unless they caught Peter. That wasn't very likely though. Even Sirius didn't have a clue where he might be. It was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. It would be near impossible.


	4. Chapter 4  Lies

_Chapter 4 – Lies_

_Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so. ~Mark Twain_

"You think I don't know that? I speak from personal experience when I say that your friendship will make it worse Remus" Dumbledore answered, surprisingly calm for a man who'd just been shouted at by an enraged werewolf.

Remus stared at the old headmaster lost for words. He was talking sense but the old man hadn't been the one to see the look in Sirius' eyes. Surely Sirius would have known that Remus wouldn't have believed him at first. So why had he told him? Was it sheer desperation to get out of Azkaban? Or was Sirius hoping for something more?

Remus didn't answer the headmaster. He pushed his fringe out of his eyes and let himself think over what Sirius had said. He'd asked why he would betray James and Lily, and now that Remus thought about it the Sirius he knew wouldn't have – he would have died rather than betray his friends. His friends had always been his family, James especially. James and he had been inseparable at school. Like a moth to a flame, Sirius Black had always been drawn to James Potter. He'd nearly died trying to keep James safe more than once. Remus had never thought about it before, far too angry to consider the details, but it sounded absurd. The madman that he'd been painted as was nothing like the man that Remus had known.

"I know Albus. You have no idea how much I wanted to leave him, leave him there to rot. But I can't, I can't because he's all that I have left. He was there for me when I needed him most, the least I can do is return the favour" Remus said, slightly surprised by the words that the words that came out of his mouth and how right they felt.

"Are you saying that you want to believe him?" Dumbledore asked, sounding slightly surprised.

"I don't know! I- There's just some things that he said that didn't add up. Why would he betray Lily and James? Or Harry? They were his life Dumbledore. I've never seen him so happy as when he was playing with Harry"

"So you don't believe he betrayed them?"

"I'm just saying that it doesn't add up. Sirius swore he'd never become a death eater"

"But then if Sirius didn't betray them, and he wasn't the secret keeper, who was?"

That question had Remus stumped. He couldn't answer that. Sirius had said that they'd swapped to Peter. He didn't believe that. There was no way in hell that Peter could have been a death eater. Besides the fact that he was dead. But even if Sirius was right about having a different secret keeper, why would they have picked Peter? Why wouldn't they have asked him?

And then it hit him like a punch to the stomach. They'd thought that he was the spy. That hurt. All because he had been so distant. The worst thing was that he'd been distant to try and help them. He was working with the werewolves and he'd stayed away to keep them safe. So trying to keep them safe had led to their deaths. So if Sirius was speaking the truth then it made their deaths as much his fault as it was Sirius'.

It all started to make sense now. "Peter was the secret keeper"

"Peter? Disregarding that Sirius killed him, why would they have chosen Peter?"

"Sirius said they were trying to trick Voldemort, everyone knew that Sirius would be the secret keeper, so that was why he didn't do it. Sirius wanted the death eaters to go after him, and no matter what they did to him Sirius wouldn't be able to tell them," Remus answered numbly. He knew what it meant and the thought made him feel sick.

It sounded so like Sirius, always trying to get ahead, to get one over on Voldemort. He couldn't believe he'd never questioned it before. He'd been content to accept what he'd been told. He'd failed as a friend. He'd left Sirius, the last friend he had, to suffer in Azkaban when he'd done nothing wrong. He felt bile rise in his throat and he raced to the bathroom where he promptly vomited up his breakfast. Sirius had been there for him when no one else was, and he'd abandoned Sirius. Some friend he was. He wiped his mouth on his hand and walked back into the circular office. He was still shaking and he felt awful, but he had to explain, he had to make Dumbledore see.

"He was right headmaster. Sirius never betrayed anybody. He wouldn't… he couldn't"

"Remus think, you cannot allow yourself to be taken in by the memory of that sweet boy that you used to know" Dumbledore said rationally.

Why couldn't he see? Couldn't he see that Sirius would never do that? He'd loved the Potter's more than life itself, and yet Dumbledore would not see that. But then, that meant that Peter betrayed them, and Dumbledore refused to believe that. He needed to shock Dumbledore, to throw one of his own arguments back in the old man's face.

"Did you ever wonder why Peter followed James around like a lost sheep? He was a coward, always looking for the biggest and the strongest person to protect him. It never hit me before, but when we left Hogwarts it all changed. We suddenly weren't the biggest and strongest people, we were pathetic really against Voldemort. And Peter knew that. So once again he went looking for the biggest and strongest bully around, and became his servant"

"Remus think of what you're saying. Peter, a death eater? That's impossible" Dumbledore replied calmly.

Remus couldn't take it anymore. He stood up, towering over the still seated headmaster. How could he be so stupid? "Not when it makes sense its not. I never connected the dots before but it makes sense now. We were never allowed to say Voldemort in front of him, he was You-Know-Who. He used to refuse to go on raids, especially the ones when the death eaters caught us. He always seemed to know more than any of us"

A realisation hit Remus like a train. He actually fell back in his seat. "He was a rat. The three of them were animagi, and Peter was a rat" Remus whispered, his anger gone, replaced by a cold hatred.

Dumbledore stared at Remus as if seeing him for the first time. "So you think that Peter was the traitor? And the spy?"

Remus paused, knowing how important the next words he said would be. "I'm saying that it all makes sense. There were things with Sirius that never fit, but that's not the case with Peter. Tiny, insubstantial things that used to happen now make sense. He said and did some very odd things at the end of the war"

Dumbledore nodded slowly. He could remember how twitchy he got before everything went wrong. They'd all put it down to the stress of living in a war, but it could have quite easily been something much more sinister. "If that is the case, a terrible injustice has been wrought"

Remus nodded slowly. "We have to fix this"

"It will have to be done carefully, we'll have to gather enough evidence to prove Sirius' innocence before we can go to the Wizenagmot"

Remus' heart sank. That could take years! "But we can't just leave him there to rot while we search for the truth!"

Remus thought his heart was breaking. He knew what Dumbledore meant, but it didn't make the thought of leaving Sirius in that hellhole any better. He wanted to make it right. He'd left Sirius once when he needed him, and he swore to himself that he wouldn't do it again. He knew what he'd have to do, but the thought didn't bring him any solace. The friend that he'd mourned all these years had been the one who'd betrayed them all. He was still alive somewhere, and Remus would do anything in his power to change that. He'd lied to them all these years, but not anymore. Remus knew the truth now. But, before the hunt for Peter began there was something he had to do.


	5. Chapter 5  Hope

_Chapter 5 – Hope_

_What seem to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise – Oscar Wilde _

He could see their faces. James and Lily. He could see their broken, lifeless bodies in front of him, but their eyes were open, staring at him. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't escape from them; they were always there, accusing him with their eyes.

"What do you want? Do you want me to apologise? Because I am so, utterly, truly sorry. It's my fault, it is all my fault. I should have been able to see. He was a rat! I should have made the connection and I'm so sorry I didn't. I would do anything to go back and change it"

Sirius fell to his knees, tears running down his cheeks. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping to block out their faces. It didn't work. He groaned and moved away from them. He soon found himself in the corner of the cell, his head in his hands. He sneaked a look up. They were still there. The logical part of his brain told him that they weren't here, that surely they'd been buried somewhere nice, but the emotional part of his brain told him that they looked so real. He dropped his head in his hands again.

He didn't know how long he'd been like that, hiding from the dead bodies on the floor but the next thing he was consciously aware of was the air getting colder. He looked up to see one of the hooded dementors in the doorway, beckoning him forwards. Sirius didn't know if he should, the last time he'd gone with them hadn't exactly done him any favours. The foul creature seemed to notice his reluctance and swooped silently towards him. Sirius cringed away, trying to make himself as small as possible. The creature grabbed his wrists with scaly, rotten hands and pulled him to his feet. Sirius yelped and stared at his wrists. Bruises were already starting to form as he followed after the foul thing.

It led him back into the room where he'd met Remus before and it pushed him towards the chair. Sirius managed to recover his balance just before falling face first onto the chair, but it was close. He sat down in the chair, wincing as the cold metal sealed around his legs and arms. He didn't understand why he was here. He'd already had his chance to tell the truth, and he'd failed.

The door opened again and a man walked in. A man he'd never expected to see again. He looked exactly the same as he had before, but his eyes looked different. They held horror, guilt and shame.

"Remus? I…what?" Sirius didn't know what to say. It was like seeing Remus had robbed him of the ability to speak. Or that might have been his heart, which felt like it had swelled so big that he was surprised that he could speak. He hadn't even dreamt of Remus coming back. He had another chance.

"Sounds like the Sirius I know," Remus smiled warmly at the prisoner, "Padfoot…I wanted to come back and tell you that I believe you"

Sirius was stunned. He'd never expected this. For the first time since being in Azkaban he felt warm. He hadn't thought that having the trust of his best friend would mean to him. He could almost imagine that the last however many years had all been a figment of his imagination as he looked at Remus' smile. He couldn't believe it. He smiled, the first proper smile to grace his haunted features in a very long time.

Remus smiled back, and then the smile slid off his face, "Sirius, I am so sorry. Sorry that I left you here and sorry that I didn't believe you"

Tears of joy were forming in Sirius' eyes and he raised a hand to wipe them away. At least he would have done had his hands not been chained to the chair. He had no choice but to let them fall. "Remus stop. I owe you an apology too"

"Don't you dare Sirius. I know why you did it, and I would have done the same if I were in your shoes" Remus' voice was stern, but he still couldn't hide the slight crack in his voice from Sirius.

"If I'd just used my brain though, or paid just a little bit more attention none of this would have happened"

"Stop blaming yourself for what Peter did"

That simple sentence meant more to Sirius than he could ever admit. That name. He couldn't stop the low growl that escaped his throat. He'd ruined them all. "That rat! How did we not-"

"Stop Sirius. Stop asking yourself that, you'll drive yourself mad. Sirius, I need to find him. If I can find him then you'll be free"

Sirius didn't know what to say to that. He'd wanted Remus to believe him but freedom was a whole different kettle of fish. He would be able to see the stars, to do the things he'd missed out on during the war. He could go to James and Lily's grave and pay his respects, he could see Harry! He'd never thought about that before, but now a hopeless desire to breathe fresh air filled him. It was all he could think about.

"I have to find him first though, and I haven't got a clue where he might be" Remus added dejectedly.

That brought Sirius back down to earth with a bump. Remus had never said that he had Peter, or that he even knew where he was. Yet Sirius had let himself get carried away anyway. It felt as though his heart, which had expanded so big, had shrivelled back to where it normally was – a dark and depressing place. But, maybe he could help. He'd had years to think about where Wormtail was.

"He'll be in his animagi form – too many people would recognise him otherwise"

"How on earth do you propose I find a rat? There has to be at least 50 million rats in this country! He doesn't have any distinguishing features"

Fair point. It would be nigh impossible. Sirius didn't really envy Remus on that task. "Calm down Remus, he does have a distinguishing feature. He'll be missing a toe. Besides he won't be anywhere. He'll probably be in a wizarding family, one that's not too close to the order though. He won't want to risk being seen"

Remus stared at him, mouth slightly agape. He obviously didn't know what to say. Oddly, Sirius felt the need to defend himself, "What? I was an auror during the war, it's their job to work out how death eaters think. Besides, what else was I meant to do but think in here?"

Sirius had meant it as a rhetorical question but Remus nodded anyway. Sirius winced. The cold had come back, piercing his skin and infesting his body like a disease. Sirius whipped his head round to see the door. A dark, towering dementor was looming in the doorway. The reality of his situation came crashing down on him with its re-entry. It had been so easy to forget when he was talking to Remus. Remus sighed and looked at him.

"I'll take that as my cue to leave. Hopefully, the next time I see you will be when you're released. Farewell Padfoot" Remus stood, as if he wanted to hug Sirius but had to settle with touching his hand. He left the room, leaving Sirius with the dementor.

It didn't matter though. The dementors didn't seem to have such a detrimental effect on him now that he had hope, burning like a small fire in his chest. He knew that someday, whether it was in 10 days or a thousand he was getting out of here. Remus wouldn't give up now. He smiled. He had hope, and that was worth everything in here.


	6. Chapter 6  The Hunt

_Chapter 6 – The Hunt_

_There is no rule more invariable than that we are paid for our suspicions by finding what we suspect – Henry David Thoreau_

Two months had passed since he'd told Sirius that he would find Peter and he still had no rat. He'd tried everywhere he could think of as having the slightest connection to Peter. He hadn't found a single trace of the rat and now he was starting to get agitated. Images of Sirius locked up in Azkaban assaulted him whenever he tried to sleep. It wasn't helping. He was meant to be helping Sirius and all he was doing was prolonging his suffering. It wasn't fair. Then again, he didn't exactly have a history of fairness.

Remus was stood in the second hand shop in Diagon Alley. He needed some more clothes and he'd finally managed to scrape together enough money to allow him to go shopping. Not that he could afford much – his money might stretch to a jumper and a pair of trousers if he was lucky. He was distracted from his search by an explosion of noise form the doorway. His head snapped up to see an army of red headed children enter the shop. He knew whom they belonged to before she even entered the shop. He smiled and stepped aside to let one red haired child race past him, closely followed by another.

"Oh, I'm so sorry" The red headed woman apologised kindly before letting her voice become stern, "Fred, George you come here right now"

The two boys sheepishly walked back to their mother, much to Remus' amusement. "That's quite alright Mrs Weasley, boys will be boys"

Mrs Weasley stared at him suspiciously for a moment before a smile of recognition appeared on her face. "Remus Lupin?"

"The one and only," Remus replied, holding out his hand. Molly shook it and smiled. "It's nice to finally meet you. Gideon and Fabien never shut up about you and all of their nephews. Used to drive half the Order mad"

Molly gasped at Remus' mention of her brothers. "You know, they always spoke very highly of you"

Remus smiled. He'd liked the Prewett twins; they were always good for a laugh. "They were good men"

Molly smiled sadly at him and Remus was about to say goodbye when he caught a whiff of something he hadn't smelt in years. He frowned. Here? After months of searching, had he finally found his elusive target? That smell, the one that Remus had known for ten years, was unmistakeable. Peter Pettigrew. His frown deepened. Why could he smell Peter on them? Surely one of them wasn't keeping Peter as a pet? The coward wouldn't sink that low, would he? And yet…

He had to know. Sirius was counting on him, and Remus would do anything to help the only friend he had left.

"Are you alright Remus?" Molly asked in alarm, managing to catch one of the twins' arms without looking.

"Oh, yes. Sorry, I was just thinking about your brothers" Remus lied quickly. His mind was racing, but one thought was surfacing: he needed to find out more. Somehow without raising suspicion, he had to get into the Burrow and search for Peter.

Molly's face suddenly softened, alarm turning to understanding. "Oh," She looked like she wanted to say more, but she couldn't seem to find any words. "I still miss them. They could brighten up a room like no-one else"

Remus smiled, thinking of all the times that they'd cheered the Order up by cracking jokes just at the right moment. They'd always seemed to know what was needed to bring a smile to even the most heartbroken of people. "I'm sure I have some pictures of your brothers at home, taken by Lily," Remus said, not quite sure where this thought was going. "I can't imagine that you've seen them. Would you like me to bring them over soon?"

Remus held his breath, waiting for Molly to respond. He knew that he was being presumptuous and pushy, but he needed to find out about Peter. If it would lead to Sirius being free then Remus didn't care what other people thought of him. "Oh, that would be lovely Remus. Could you do tonight? I'd like the boys to see them, before the eldest go back to Hogwarts"

Remus didn't dare breathe. This was turning out even better than he'd hoped. "That would be lovely Molly"

She beamed at him, but that was nothing to the triumph that Remus was feeling. He was one step closer to freeing Sirius. One step closer to regaining some semblance of his old life. He smiled. Now he just had to find the aforementioned photos. They'd be in the photo box and he normally made a habit of avoiding it. That box held so many painful memories that he couldn't bring himself to look in it. Yet at the same time he couldn't bring himself to move the box. It just sat in the corner of his bedroom, a painful yet sweet reminder of what had been.

OoOoOo

Remus was probably the only wizard to wish, in a deep dark corner of his mind, that the war had never ended. That the 31st of October 1981 never happened. He lost everything that day, and there was nothing he could do about it. Not anymore though, he could help Sirius. And he was so close to doing just that.

As soon as he'd entered the house he could smell it. The wave of memories that it brought back almost knocked Remus off his feet. He grabbed the doorframe for support and managed to stumble into the room. All nine of the Weasley's were sat in the lounge. Bill was playing with Ron and Arthur was playing with the twins. Ginny was amusing herself with a pink dragon, and Charlie was fiddling with the wireless. Molly was looking through the photos that Remus had handed her and Percy, Percy was playing with A RAT!

He recognised the smell instantly. How could he not when he'd known him for so long. Remus could honestly say that he'd never been so pleased to be a werewolf in his entire life. His advanced sense of smell meant that he picked up the aroma that normal people wouldn't. That was Peter Pettigrew in front of him, there was no denying that. He couldn't believe that he'd finally found him. After years of thinking he was dead, he was slightly stunned by Peter's cleverness. Not that he should be praising that traitor. But it did mean one thing. Sirius would finally be free.

"Percy," Remus asked, barely able to conceal his emotions, "I wonder, could I see your rat?"

"His names Scabbers" Percy told him. Scabbers? That was new. He had to admit it did look like Peter, the dirty brown coat and the worm like tail that had given him his nickname. It had been James who'd come up with the nicknames. If he knew what Peter would become, he was sure that James would have murdered him then and there.

Percy nodded and reached forward to hand over the rat. It went mad as soon as Percy lifted him up, writhing and squeaking in desperation. He could obviously smell Remus, and could tell that the game was up. He was trying everything he could think of to escape. All his attempts however, came to nothing as Percy handed over the squirming rat, a frown on his young face.

"That's odd, he normally likes people," Percy said, watching as Remus' trembling hands took a firm grip on the still struggling rat.

"Maybe he can smell my dog" Remus said darkly, smirking slightly at the thought. He held the rat up to eye level. His toe was missing, just like Sirius had said it would be. He took a deep breath and twitched his hand towards his wand.

"Remus what are you doing?" Molly asked worriedly as he drew his wand. He couldn't believe he'd finally found him, and here of all places! Though he didn't know if it would be particularly appropriate to reveal Peter in front of the children.

"I'm afraid to say that this rat isn't what he appears to be" Remus answered calmly, almost nonchalantly, his eyes still fixed on the squirming rat securely held in his hand.

"Not what he appears to be? Remus, it's a rat" Molly replied slowly, as if fearing for Remus' sanity.

"He's not a rat. He's an animagi. A wizard by the name of Peter Pettigrew" A ringing silence followed Remus' words.

"A wiz- Remus, Pettigrew's dead" Molly said concernedly. Remus missed the glance between her and Arthur, but when he glanced up he and Molly were the only two people in the sitting room. He breathed a silent sigh of relief. He wouldn't have to worry about the children when he revealed Peter.

"You see, I thought so too until I went to see an old friend in Azkaban. Sirius Black, in fact. He explained that Peter had been the Potter's Secret-Keeper, and that he'd been the one to betray James and Lily to Voldemort," Molly flinched violently, but Remus kept speaking. "He told me how Pettigrew blew up the street, and killed all those poor muggles, in an effort to frame Sirius Black as the traitor"

"You believed the words of a murdering psychopath?" Molly asked coldly.

"He was my friend, Molly. I owe him this," Remus said calmly, tightening his grip on his wand. "You don't believe me? Don't worry, I didn't believe it too at first," He knew that he sounded insane and he was surprised to find that he didn't care. Sirius was worth it. He was so close now that he could almost taste it. Sirius' jubilation at being free would be worth condemning Peter to whatever punishment he got. He would be quite happy to let the ministry decide what to do with him. "I'll have to show you"

Remus carefully placed the struggling rat on the floor and jabbed his wand at him, before the rat could make another getaway. Remus heard Molly gasp from the other side of the kitchen as she watched the gruesome scene before her. It was like nothing Remus had ever seen before. It was nothing like the usual animagi transformation. A head appeared first, followed almost instantly by arms and a torso. The legs were the last things to appear. Standing in front of Remus, pale and trembling, was Peter Pettigrew.


	7. Chapter 7  The Trial

_Chapter 7 – The Trial_

_There is no such thing as justice – in or out of court. – Clarence Darrow, 1936_

The war. Sirius hated what it had done to them, what it had taken away. He would never escape the memories of some of the things he'd seen. Some of the things he'd had to do. He shivered. All because of one maniac and his thirst for power. But he was gone now. Sirius didn't know how or why, but he knew that he was gone. The thought brought Sirius comfort. He felt like maybe his efforts in the war hadn't been a complete waste. Though it had been a waste; far too many good people had died for it not to be. The McKinnon's, the Prewetts, the Bones and the Potter's. They were just some of Voldemort's victims. There were too many for any one person to remember.

The door in front of him opened, revealing a long dark corridor. He was confused, the door was never opened. Unless Remus had come to visit again? But that surely meant that he'd caught Peter? His heart filled with joy at the thought that he would soon be free. The smile slid of his face though when the dementors entered the cell. There were two of the dark terrors today. Sirius knew what they wanted, but he couldn't physically do it. He couldn't move. It was like all the muscles in his body had just given up. The dementors swooped forwards, each grabbing one of his arms and pulling him into a standing position. His knee was trembling badly, he could barely stand or walk as they pointed him towards the door.

Sirius staggered into the cold hallway, cringing as he felt the dementors hover behind him. The screams of the other inmates were almost deafening out here. They had just been background noise before, horrible, heart-breaking background noise. He managed a few steps before his knees gave in and he fell to the floor. Pain shot through his right knee as it smashed into the stone floor. The dementors dragged him back to his feet, seeming to relish the pain that it caused him. He couldn't help it, he whimpered as he tried to limp on. One of the dementors swooped in front of him, completely ignoring the fact that Sirius nearly lost his balance as he recoiled from the foul creature. They led him down the long corridor, toward the light.

He screwed his eyes up in an effort to defend himself from the cruel rays of light that were jabbing at his eyes. He winced when two large men grabbed his arms and they literally dragged him forwards. He didn't understand, he didn't have to do this last time somebody came to speak to him. A crack appeared in the wall and widened, giving the two men more than enough room to drag Sirius outside. Outside. That was a word he hadn't thought about for a long time, knowing that its elusiveness would drive him mad eventually.

Sirius took his first breath of fresh air after three years of being stuck in Azkaban. It was like nothing he had ever experienced. He felt like his nose was on fire with the strange smells. Not that there was much to smell. They were on a small, rocky island in the middle of the sea. The sea. He had never before appreciated how beautiful it was. So much so that he couldn't stop staring at it. The men dragged him to a particular spot and disapparated.

Sirius wasn't sure where they were, but he was keeping his eyes shut in an effort to stop his head spinning. He felt like he was going to be sick so he clamped his mouth shut. The men dragged him through a long corridor and into a lift. He still didn't really know what was happening, but for the first time in nearly three years he allowed himself to hope. It wasn't nearly as cold here as Azkaban was, but he still felt weak and shaky. They dumped him in a chair and Sirius let his eyes flicker open. The sight in front of him took his breath away. He was in the Wizengamot chamber. And it was full to bursting with people.

"Sirius?" A whisper sounded from next to Sirius. He whipped his head around to see a tall man with a waist length beard. Sirius grinned broadly. Sirius would have recognised his voice nearly anywhere. It filled him with a feeling of peace. Nothing would go wrong if the headmaster was here. He smiled. "Pettigrew was captured a few days ago, this is your acquittal"

A grin spread over Sirius' wasted face. He was going to be free. The feeling was unbelievable. Before Sirius could open his mouth to answer, a loud voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Sirius Black, you have been brought before us today to answer the charges of murder and of being a death eater. How does the defendant plead?"

Sirius stared. He was actually getting a trial. Strange. Before Sirius could open his mouth to respond, a deep voice spoke behind him. "Not Guilty"

"The Wizengamot would like to hear your story Mr Black, all of it. Starting from when the secret keeper was chosen up until the events that led to your arrest"

Sirius looked up. He gulped and started the story. He told them about James and Lily's choice to go into hiding and how everyone had been there when they asked him to be secret keeper. He explained how he'd made them change their minds and how he'd thought that he could trick Voldemort (he ignored the gasps) by using Peter. He described how he'd gone to see Peter that night and that nobody was there. He told them how he'd gone to Godric's Hollow and found James and Lily. He explained how in his fury he'd gone after Peter and tried to kill him, but he'd never got the chance because Peter blew the street up and escaped. He didn't need to say anymore.

"Very well, are there any questions for Mr Black?" the Chief Warlock sounded suspiciously like he didn't believe Sirius' story. He would have given nearly anything to be able to go up and wipe the smug smile off his face.

A woman with curly hair raised her hand, "If what you say is true about the change in secret keeper, why did you pick Pettigrew? Why not Lupin, or Dumbledore?"

Sirius closed his eyes. There was no way of getting round that question without hurting Remus. "Because we thought the fewer people who knew the better. And we thought that Remus was the spy"

Sirius braced himself for the gasp that would surely follow. Nothing. Remus had obviously already worked that out. Bugger. A resounding silence followed his words. Sirius almost felt indignant for him, people seemed to think that was a logical assumption to make given that he was a werewolf. A tall black man raised his hand.

"You say that Pettigrew escaped. How do you propose he did that?"

Bugger. He hadn't wanted to divulge that secret. But if it meant his freedom then he would. "He's an animagi. He cut off his finger and fled into the sewers"

"I wasn't under the impression that he was particularly clever. Besides, he's not on the registry"

"James and I helped him. We were all animagi" Sirius tried to ignore the angry mutters coming from the Wizengamot. Which was precisely why he hadn't wanted to tell them about that.

"Quiet! Are there anymore questions?" Nobody made a sound. "Well then, bring in the first witness" Witness? That couldn't be good. He looked at Dumbledore in alarm, but the old man merely shook his head.

The door opened and Sirius understood. They meant Wormtail. Sirius glared at him as he was led into the room. Sirius was so furious that he missed most of what the rat said, quite content to glare at him with utter hatred. The last time he'd seen him he was running for the sewers, leaving Sirius to pay for the crimes that Peter had committed. Dumbledore laid a calming hand on Sirius' arm. He understood what the he meant. Sirius glared furiously at the floor in front of him.

"What about the charges of being a death eater?" A cold voice asked from the top of the stands. Dumbledore stood up next to him and smiled lightly.

"That is easy enough to prove or disprove" He raised both of Sirius sleeves to the elbow, revealing nothing other than sickly white looking skin and wasted muscles. Sirius smiled bitterly. It still hurt that everybody had thought that he was a death eater. Almost over night he'd gone from a decorated auror to a mass murderer, supposedly Voldemort's right-hand man.

"The Wizengamot will deliberate," announced the Chief Warlock. He cast a bubble of silence around the assembled members, and they began a furious debate. He knew there were probably still people who thought that he was guilty, but he didn't care. As long as he was free he would be happy. Though, he did want to see justice done on the rat.

Sirius could honestly say that he'd never been more nervous in his life as he watched the Wizengamot deliberate. He wasn't sure if his story and the evidence would be enough to overcome the dark reputation of his name. Dumbledore placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder and Remus smiled reassuringly at him from where the witnesses were sat. Sirius gulped audibly, his patience threatening to snap.

The Chief Warlock removed the bubble of silence and rose to his feet, looking like he'd just been forced to swallow something bitter. "We find the defendant not guilty. He is hereby cleared of all charges"

Sirius' eyes widened. He was free. The chains around his arms and legs began to withdraw. Tears began to form in his eyes. He found that he didn't care in the slightest. He didn't think he'd ever felt so happy before in his life. He couldn't really believe that after three years of hell that it was over. It could finally be laid to rest. His thoughts were interrupted as Remus Lupin practically threw himself at him. They hugged each other fiercely, relishing in the thought they were not alone. Finally, they could move past this mess. Mourn James and Lily in peace. They were free.

_**AN: I really hope you guys like this chapter; I found it really hard to write. The next chapter is already written (from Sirius' POV again) and I am currently working on the 9**__**th**__**. I did try to write it last night, but I was watching the deathly hallows premiere and I'm not ashamed to say that I cried like a little girl at their speeches at the end. Anyway, enjoy and please leave a review**_


	8. Chapter 8  Freedom

_Chapter 8 – Freedom_

_Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves – __Abraham Lincoln _

"There is however, some further conditions that we wish to add" Sirius and Remus pulled apart, the grins sliding off their faces. "Mr Black must join the animagi registration and if he wishes to rejoin the auror department he will have to redo the final year of training"

Sirius didn't care what they said, he just nodded quickly. The act of nodding however proved too much for his Azkaban wasted body to handle and he swayed slightly. Remus grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back into his seat. He was in bad shape, and he knew it. He was pale, dirty, starved and trembling. Remus noticed and rummaged in his pockets. Sirius grinned. Remus always had been addicted to chocolate, but Sirius wasn't going to complain if it stopped him shivering.

Remus handed him a small bar of chocolate and Sirius tore into it, his hands shaking so much that it took a while. Sirius bit into hit hungrily and savoured the taste in his mouth. It melted in his mouth, warmth spreading through his entire body. He smiled, feeling truly warm for the first time in three years.

"Professor, where do we go now? My house isn't big enough for two people and Sirius doesn't have a house anymore" Remus asked, the difficulty of caring for an ex convict obviously catching up with him.

Dumbledore took a moment to reply, as if he were debating the wisdom of the answer that he wanted to give. "I feel that it would be prudent for Sirius to go to St Mungo's for recovery"

"No! I will not spend my first night as a free man trapped in a hospital bed" Sirius retorted firmly. He wanted to be somewhere he could see the stars, or hear the sea. He most definitely did not want to spend the next few days cooped up in a small hospital ward.

Dumbledore sighed, even though he probably already knew what Sirius would say to that suggestion. "The Potter's had a holiday home in rural Wales? That would do until you can buy a house?" asked Remus. Sirius didn't know how well he could handle the memories that the house would bring, but he didn't have any other choice. He nodded and Remus reached forward, helping him to his feet. He took a deep breath as Dumbledore led them through the door.

Shouts and blinding flashes of light greeted him as Remus led him into the corridor. After three years of living in murky, dirty light the light from their cameras was almost blinding. Questions assaulted him from nearly every direction. He didn't like it. They were awfully close. It felt like they were getting closer, pressing in on him. Dumbledore must have noticed his discomfort because he cast a shield charm around Sirius, pushing the reporters back. Dumbledore let them into the atrium and then took hold of both Sirius and Remus' arms and disapparated.

Sirius shook his head as soon as they arrived and looked around. They were in a secluded cove that led onto the sandy shore, where Sirius could hear the waves calmly washing against. A small stone cottage was the only other resident of the cove. It would be perfect. Dumbledore remained outside to set up protective spells and enchantments while Sirius and Remus walked inside carefully. Everything in here was a light and airy colour, but the true beauty of the room was only revealed when Remus fumbled for the lights. Photographs of the Potter's littered nearly every surface. It was perfect.

There was one photo that drew Sirius' attention. It was of James and Lily, grinning and waving madly outside of their new house. Sirius choked back a sob as he picked the photo up. "I'm so sorry". Tears were beginning to drip down Sirius' gaunt cheeks and Remus placed a hand on his shoulder, unshed tears glistening in his own eyes.

"It was not your fault Padfoot" Remus said forcefully, furiously dashing away the tears that threatened to cascade down his cheeks.

"Then why does it feel like it is?" Sirius choked out. He looked Remus straight in the eye, almost as if searching for the answer in Remus' golden eyes. Remus didn't say anything, he just moved forward to hug Sirius.

That was how Dumbledore found them, each trying to comfort the other, the photograph crushed to Sirius' chest. Sirius was sobbing onto Remus' shoulder and Remus wasn't much better. One of the problems with being sent to Azkaban straight after their murder was that Sirius had never had his chance to grieve for two of his best friends. The pain of losing them still felt raw, and once he started crying Sirius found it very difficult to stop. He finally pulled away, one lonely tear still tracking its way down his face.

"I shall leave you two gentlemen here for the night, and return in the morning. We have many things to discuss" Dumbledore said. He waved his wand and food appeared on the table, before bidding them goodbye.

"I feel like I need a shower, and then I'll try and do something with my hair. And then I shall eat until my heart's content" Sirius announced, before searching for the bathroom.

It was plain and obviously out of date, but it was far superior to what he was used to in Azkaban. He turned the faucet and let the water warm up before climbing into the shower. He'd never appreciated before the joy and peace that having a simple shower gave. He smiled. It felt like the years of horror and guilt in Azkaban were being washed away. The dirt was practically falling off his skin and out of his hair. He scrubbed fiercely at his hair ignoring the tugging and pulling of the knots in his hair.

He stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out and he climbed out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. Remus had obviously been in while he was in the shower, because there were clothes waiting for him. Just a plain t-shirt, pair of boxers and a plain pair of trousers. Sirius didn't care what they were as long as they weren't the thin grey Azkaban robes that he was used to.

He walked out into the main room where Remus was waiting with two steaming cups of hot chocolate. Sirius grinned and grabbed a cup. He smiled as he felt the warm liquid flow down his throat, making his entire body tingle with warmth.

"Sirius, I think we need to do something about your hair. You look a madman"

"But I am a madman," Remus looked appalled by what he'd said. He opened his mouth to apologise, "Stop it Remus, it was a joke. Will you help me cut my hair? I mean I could do it myself, but…"

"You're likely to cut your own head off" Remus answered, smiling as he gestured for Sirius to take the seat in front of him. Sirius did as he was told and Remus began to cut what could only just pass for hair. He smiled as chunks of hair fell past his eyes, it felt like the weight of Azkaban was slowly being lifted from his shoulders.

"I wonder what happened to my bike?" Sirius asked curiously. He'd loved that bike, and the feeling of freedom that it gave him would most definitely be welcome.

"Hagrid still has it. I'm sure he'd let you have it back if you asked. What do you think?" Remus asked, holding up a mirror so Sirius could inspect his hair. It was curly and rested just above his shoulders. He smiled at Remus, who obviously needed no more thanks and turned away, heating the food that Dumbledore had left them.

Sirius smiled broadly as Remus set down two plates of steak and chips. One thing Remus had always been good at was cooking, but Sirius had a sneaking suspicion that he would have eaten any food with the same amount of relish, even if somebody as poor a chef as James had made it. James. Why did he have to think of him now? He closed his eyes in pain as the grief and the guilt came crashing back. It felt like he was drowning.

"I guess we need to get to Diagon Alley tomorrow?" Sirius latched onto Remus' words like a lifeline, dragging himself away from dwelling on his feelings about James.

"Yeah, I need a wand…and some clothes" It almost seemed unreal that Sirius was having this conversation when this time yesterday he was in Azkaban. But the thought of having a wand again was almost too good to be true. "And then I'll look for a house, get my bike back and talk to Dumbledore about Harry"

"Harry? Dumbledore seems to think that he's perfectly happy with the Dursleys"

"You mean Lily's horse of a sister? Remus, she hated Lily. I was made his godfather for a reason. James and Lily wanted me to take him if something happened to them. And I can now"

"Calm down Padfoot! I wasn't arguing with you, I just…What if he's happy with them? You can't take him away from a happy family Sirius"

Sirius didn't have a reply to that. He knew, somewhere deep down that Harry wasn't happy. He'd only met Petunia once, and granted it hadn't been under the best circumstances, but even then she'd seemed cold-hearted, and dead set against magic. And Harry would most certainly be a wizard, so most likely he would be treated with contempt, and possibly dislike. He would not leave his godson to suffer through that.

Sirius rose to his feet, trying to fight against the anger coursing through his veins. He'd already been sent to Azkaban for letting the anger take over, he would not make that mistake again. He opened his mouth to make a furious remark to Remus and then closed it again, stalking out of the house in a fit of rage. He stormed over to the beach and threw himself to the ground, staring at the waves. He didn't know how long he sat there, just watching the waves, but when he finally climbed to his feet, shivering from the October air, he was perfectly calm and felt like a dick for shouting at the only friend he had left.

"Remus I-"

"Don't apologise Sirius, I'm the one who should apologise" Remus interrupted. Sirius smiled at him and moved towards his bedroom. He was looking forward to his first proper night's sleep in nearly three years. He had a suspicion that he wouldn't suffer any nightmares tonight, he was so exhausted that he could barely form a coherent thought. Only one thing permeated his sleep-starved mind as he climbed into bed, he was free.

_**AN: There isn't really much that I have to say about this, but I really hope you enjoy it! Please leave a review x**_


	9. Chapter 9  Peace

_Chapter 9 – Peace_

_If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another – Tenzin Gyatso, the 14__th__ Dalai Lama _

Remus was woken up suddenly in the middle of the night by screams coming from Sirius' bedroom. He darted out of bed and raced to the door, before it occurred to him that Sirius might not want him to intrude. After all, dreams and nightmares were a private thing, and Sirius had always been very defensive. Not to mention that Sirius was especially vulnerable after Azkaban. Remus didn't know what to do. He settled for banging on the door like a madman. The screaming stopped and silence fell. "Sirius?"

There was complete silence on the other side of the door. Sirius was obviously hoping that Remus would leave him be. Remus shook his head at the door and walked back to his bedroom. He glanced at the clock; it said 3:42 and Remus knew that he wouldn't be getting any more sleep tonight. He cursed and walked into the bathroom, hoping to be ready before Sirius emerged from his room.

After a full English breakfast (during which neither of them mentioned what had happened last night) the two men apparated to London. Sirius looked as if he were in two minds of whether he wanted to proceed. Remus knew full well that rumours and gossip would follow them the entire way down Diagon Alley, and where as the old Sirius would have lapped up the attention with a grin, the Post Azkaban Sirius was rather shy. "Come on Sirius, you'll have to face them sooner or later"

Sirius looked at him and nodded, apparently steeling himself for the inevitable reaction when he entered the pub. Remus followed after him, silently worried for his friend. A predictable silence fell as the two men entered the pub. Remus glanced around and followed after Sirius, who was hurrying through the pub trying to get to the other side.

"…Acquitted of all charges…"

"…Nearly three years in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit…"

"…Always thought he was innocent…"

Remus snorted at the last comment, everybody, including him, had thought that Sirius was guilty. They had all looked at his family and simply wondered why it had taken him 21 years to show his true colours. Remus still couldn't really believe that he'd done it. That Sirius was back with him. He shook his head and pulled his wand out of his pocket. He tapped the bricks and then smiled as he saw the look of joy on Sirius' face as his freedom finally sunk in.

Sirius grabbed his arm and dragged him along to Gringotts. When Sirius' vault opened, Remus couldn't help but sigh. Sirius was trying to block his mounds of money from as if trying to spare Remus from looking at that which he didn't have. Him and James had done it every year when they came to Gringotts, and Remus was beyond caring. He felt that after Azkaban Sirius deserved it.

After Gringotts they walked into Ollivanders. Judging by the look on his face Sirius had been looking forward to this ever since he was free. As Remus had always had always had his wand, he didn't know what it must feel like for Sirius, to not have a wand. Mr Ollivander walked out into the shop, his eyes widening as he saw Sirius.

"Ah, Mr Black, I did wonder when you'd return for a wand. Let's see… Try this?"

He handed Sirius a wand, but Sirius shook his head almost instantly and handed it back. Remus settled in the chair by the window, he had a feeling that this would take rather a long time. Wand after wand was handed to Sirius, each with the same result. Ollivander finally handed Sirius a birch and dragon heartstring wand and Sirius froze. "That's the one"

He handed over seven galleons for his wand and they both bid farewell to Mr Ollivander. It wasn't until they were entering the robe shop that Sirius spoke. "You know, Mr Ollivander still creeps me out"

"That's because you're a wuss Padfoot" Remus replied. Their friendship was still there but it was as if it were covered by a layer of dust, that both of them were trying to scrape away. It wasn't easy though. How were you meant to repair a friendship where you had both thought the other was a spy? Remus wished that things could go back to how they had been, but he knew that each of them would nurse their hurt of being the perceived traitor forever. Remus sighed as Sirius walked off to examine the clothes on the rails. Remus leaned back against the wall, watching in bemusement as Sirius rummaged on the clothes rails.

By the time Sirius announced that they had bought enough, he was so heavily laden with bags that Remus had to take some to prevent Sirius from falling over. "You're such a girl Sirius. Is there anywhere else you want to go?"

"Estate Agents?" Sirius asked. Remus nodded and led Sirius to the desired shop. Sirius stared at the photos in the window, and Remus rolled his eyes at him before holding the door open for Sirius. He smirked and took one of the offered seats, trying to give the woman behind the desk his famous winning smile. It made Sirius look much more human, and much more like the man that he had once been.

"Good Afternoon gentlemen, what are we looking for today?" The woman behind the desk, Abigail asked. Remus leant back into his chair, knowing that he would have nothing more to do with it. After all, it would be Sirius' house.

"A three bedroom house, somewhere in the country. A wizarding neighbourhood if possible, but not Godric's Hollow"

"Three bedrooms? How many rooms do you want?" Remus asked incredulously.

"One for me, one for you and one for Harry" Sirius answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Remus stared at him in shock; Sirius had never expressed any interest in living together. He couldn't, especially if Sirius did get Harry. He couldn't put that little boy at risk from the beast that he became once a month. "Don't Remus, we can take precautions. Remove the risk completely"

"Sirius, I-"

"Stop making excuses Remus. Just come and live with me, and Harry"

Remus couldn't deny that he would like to be near Sirius. To prove to himself that he wasn't alone anymore. But he couldn't, he couldn't expect Sirius to help him when he was the one that should be helping Sirius. He couldn't have this debate; he couldn't even let himself think about it. The temptation would be too strong, and he would give in and then he would hurt one of them. He couldn't.

"Remus please? You know as well as I do that I'll need your help with Harry"

Remus smiled slightly at Sirius' words, who obviously took that as a yes. He turned back to the woman and began to search for a house. Remus just sat there, completely bemused by what Sirius was doing. If there was one thing that he'd learned from being at Hogwarts with Sirius, it was not to argue with him when he was mid-idea. He could argue with him later.

When they emerged from the shop an hour later, Sirius Black was the proud owner of a four-bedroom house in the Devon countryside, about 8 miles outside of Ottery St. Catchpole. Sirius was refusing to hear any of Remus' arguments about living with them. This was one of the things that annoyed Remus the most about Sirius, his refusal to see the dangers about the things that were in front of him.

"Sirius, listen, I am DANGEROUS! I cannot and will not put you or Harry in danger, that is if you even get Harry" Remus snarled, unable to contain his anger at Sirius' refusal to see.

"STOP IT! DON'T YOU THINK THAT I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING REMUS? I NEED YOU! And, stop saying that about Harry, I need to keep hoping, I need him like I need air Remus! I need to know that I didn't fail completely"

Remus stared at the unshed tears in Sirius' eyes, stunned. Sirius had never been one to tell people how he felt and there he was, tears in his eyes and shouting at Remus. "Sirius, I..." It was only after he opened his mouth that he realised he didn't have a leg to stand on. If Sirius needed him, then he would do anything for him.

"Sirius, there's somewhere I think you'll want to go" Remus finally broke the awkward silence. He sent the bags back to the beach house and held out his hand. Sirius took it and together they disapparated.

Sirius gasped as soon as he recognised the town square, but Remus kept hold of his hand and led him onwards. He had no intention of stopping to look at the memorial or the house, despite the fact that Sirius obviously wanted to. He led Sirius into the graveyard and straight to the grave that Sirius had already said he wanted to see. He dropped Sirius' hand as he stared at the headstone, completely lost in thought.

_The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death_

That phrase made tears form in Remus' eyes every time he saw it. He looked over at Sirius, who had tears falling freely down his face. Remus raised his wand and created a bouquet of flowers, which he handed to Sirius who laid them on the grave. They stared at the tomb, James and Lily's resting place until darkness began to fall. He looked at Sirius and smiled sadly at him. Sirius seemed to grasp the meaning instantly. James and Lily were at peace. It was there job to ensure that Harry got that peace.

_**AN: I have a question for you lovely readers, should I bring in chapters from Harry's POV? I'm having that internal debate as the minute but I thought I'd ask you as well. Please let me know **_


	10. Chapter 10  Fight

_Chapter 10 – Fight_

_There would be no passion in this world if we never had to fight for what we love – Susie Switzer_

"Welcome to our new house" Sirius announced, his arms spread wide. He'd brought Remus to see what Sirius hoped would soon become a home. All that remained was to fight for Harry, to fulfil the last wish of James and Lily. And Sirius had already decided that he didn't care how long it took or how hard it would be. It didn't matter to him; he'd do it anyway. For James and Lily.

He glanced over at Remus and sniggered. His mouth was hanging open and his eyes were wide as he stared up at the white and dark wood Tudor house. It had large wooden windows, a large driveway and a well-planted front garden. There was more than enough room for a four-year-old boy to run wild. Sirius had every intention of letting Harry have the best childhood that he could possibly offer. He led a bemused Remus into the fully furnished, but still plain house.

"Sirius, where – you said there were precautions…for the moon" Remus tailed off, looking slightly uncomfortable.

Sirius shifted from foot to foot awkwardly. There were precautions in place, but Sirius wasn't sure if Remus would approve. Hell, he'd set it up and he wasn't sure if he approved. Sirius led him through the house and out into the spacious garden. He turned around to face the house again, gesturing towards an underground bunker.

"I didn't…I wasn't sure…I mean I-"

"Shut up Sirius! You don't need to worry about offending me, which I'm guessing is why you sound more like an idiot than normal" Remus laughed and reached to open the doors, revealing a large, relatively empty basement.

"I was going to bring a bed and some medical stuff down. I thought a silencing charm and some reinforcing charms down here, and we'll be laughing"

Remus didn't reply, he just stared around the basement. Sirius was still worried that he'd offended Remus. He couldn't read Remus anymore. Sirius' worries however, were thrown away when Remus threw his arms around Sirius' shoulders in gratitude. Sirius smiled; no more speech was needed.

OoOoOo

"Albus, I want to talk to you about Harry" Sirius had dragged Remus along to see the headmaster after taking him to see the house. Sirius had been optimistic about Dumbledore's reaction, but his optimism was slowly fading away as he took in the grim look on the old headmaster's face.

"I know what you want from me Sirius, but I can't allow it"

"You have no right to allow or deny me access to my godson" Sirius countered, his voice shaking with barely suppressed anger.

"I have every right Sirius, after you were arrested and James and Lily were murdered, I had to step up. I had to ensure his safety" Dumbledore replied, irritation plain in his tone.

"You act like were the only one left, what about Remus?"

Remus, who had so far remained silent, now opened his mouth to speak. "Sirius you know full well that I couldn't have taken him" Remus replied bitterly.

"The fact remains that I placed Harry where he was safest, and he needs to remain there" Dumbledore replied, almost begging them to understand with his eyes.

"Where? Where is this supposed safe place?" Sirius asked sarcastically.

"Lily died to save Harry, so the protection is in his blood. So he is where that blood protection is"

He knew what that meant. That stupid old man had given him to Lily's sister. She wouldn't love him, she wouldn't even like him. How could he make Dumbledore see that? "Do you remember J-James and Lily's wedding? Petunia wasn't there! She hated Lily! She hated everything to do with magic!"

"Regardless of her views on magic, Harry is safe there. Safer than he would be anywhere else"

"What use is being safe if you're unhappy?" Sirius couldn't believe that Dumbledore was being so obtuse. Sirius knew what it was like to grow up in a house where you were disliked, and he would do everything in his power to make sure that Harry didn't have to endure that.

Dumbledore sighed, "Sirius you weren't here when Voldemort was stopped. His death eaters were still free, some of them nearly as dangerous as he was. Their leader was gone, but the war continued. Do you not think the Boy Who Lived would have been a target? Do you not think he still is? He is in the safest place that he could ever be"

How was Sirius meant to reply to that? He didn't want to put Harry in danger, but he was sure that Harry was unhappy. It was like an ache in his chest, knowing that Harry was miserable. But how could he tell Dumbledore that? Dumbledore seemed to be dead set against Sirius taking Harry and he wasn't sure how to persuade him otherwise.

"James and Lily made me his godfather Albus. They wanted me to take him if anything happened to them. I failed to protect them, do not let me fail at the one thing they've left behind"

Dumbledore leant back in his seat, and Sirius had a feeling that he'd managed to surprise the headmaster with his argument. He continued to stare imploringly at the headmaster, knowing that a fierce internal debate was raging in his mind. Sirius could only hope that it was enough.

"Can you protect him Sirius? Can an ex convict, who's been out of Azkaban for barely two days care for and protect a four-year-old boy? Can you keep him safer than the blood wards that Lily created?"

"I won't be alone headmaster. You act like the war is still being fought. Together, we can keep him safe! I know we can! And we can give him the one thing that the Dursleys won't – love"

Sirius smiled. There was no way that Dumbledore could counter that. He'd always been a supporter of love as the strongest form of magic. He knew that it was just a matter of time before Dumbledore decided to tell Sirius where Harry was. Now he just had to wait.

"Sirius, I can't just let you take Harry, even if I want to. He has a family now – you cannot just take him away from that"

"A family? If they're treating Harry like he's their family then I will eat my hat! That is, if I had a hat to eat. Dumbledore you know as well as I do that we're Harry's family now"

"I repeat my earlier question, can the two of you care for and protect him?"

"Headmaster, all I've wanted since I was free was to hold that beautiful little boy in my arms. I want to raise him right, like James and Lily would have wanted" Sirius said passionately, trying to choke back his emotions when he mentioned James and Lily.

Dumbledore didn't reply to that, he merely smiled broadly at Sirius and Remus, who had placed his hand on Sirius' shoulder in agreement. Remus' support meant a lot, because though he'd rather deny it, he was sure that he couldn't raise Harry on his own. At least not well. If he raised Harry on his own, there was a distinct possibility that he would grow up to be a hell raiser.

"We'll have to visit him first. I will not allow him to be removed from a loving and happy home" Dumbledore stated firmly. Sirius wasn't particularly happy with those conditions, but he knew that if he disagreed there was no way that he would get Harry. Rather reluctantly, Sirius nodded.

"We'll go in the morning, stop complaining Sirius. You need to get comfortable in your new house and you need to be prepared for if you do get to take him"

Sirius didn't miss the 'if' but chose not to mention Dumbledore's doubt. He had an annoying habit of trusting people far too easily, and Sirius was sure that Dumbledore still thought that Petunia would treat Harry like a son. Even though it meant that he wouldn't get Harry, Sirius couldn't help but wish that he was right. The alternative was just too horrible to even consider.

_**AN: My updates might be sporadic from now on, I've fallen behind on writing chapters I will try to catch up again and update as soon as possible. Please leave a review, they inspire me to write faster. **_


	11. Chapter 11  Home

_Chapter 11 – Home_

_Home is not where you live, but where they understand you – Christian Morganstern_

Harry was in his cupboard. Again. He hadn't meant to do anything. He wasn't even sure that he had done something. But Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. He never did. Aunt Petunia had served up dinner last night, toad in the hole with peas and carrots. Harry had never been a fan of peas. Which, Harry guessed was why Uncle Vernon thought that he'd done something. Though how Harry was meant to have done what had happened was beyond him. As soon as the peas had touched Harry's plate, they'd shrivelled and vanished. Uncle Vernon had shouted at Harry and thrown him into his cupboard with so much force that Harry cracked his head on the far wall.

He was still shut in his cupboard now, shut in the dark. There was a knock on the front door but Harry ignored it, focusing instead on finding somewhere comfortable to sit in the cupboard. His hands groped for his teddy bear and he pulled it close to his chest, willing the tears that were threatening to fall to go away. His head was still hurting and he wanted to get out of the cupboard. He didn't like it, but he knew that Uncle Vernon would be furious if he asked to come out. He winced as he heard Uncle Vernon's angry voice.

"I don't know what you people want, but I demand that you leave"

A deep, old sounding voice spoke next, "Please calm yourself Mr Dursleys. We merely came to see Harry"

Silence. That had to be him, right? Why were there people asking to see him? Or more importantly, who were they? Harry didn't know anybody outside of the Dursleys and Mrs Fig. There was no way this was someone he knew. Did that make it a good thing?

"Where is he?" A new voice demanded. The voice sounded strangely familiar, like he'd heard it before, a long time ago. He didn't when or where though. It was strange though, the voice seemed to bring with it a feeling of joy and of sadness. Harry shook his head, that made no sense. Maybe he was going mad, like Dudley always said.

"We know he's here Dursley, where is he?" The second voice snarled, sounding furious.

"Sirius, calm down!" A third, slightly hoarse voice added. The voice suddenly turned cold. "I think I know where he is"

"You didn't" The second man, Sirius sounded appalled with whatever realisation he had just made. There were heavy footsteps and then his cupboard door was wrenched open. Harry shrunk away from the door, pulling his bear closer to his chest as if to keep him safe from the intruder.

"How could you? He's just a little boy!"

"SHH! Harry? It's alright, I'm not going to hurt you" A man with shoulder length black hair and kind grey eyes was standing in the doorway. Harry didn't know what to do. The man looked kind, but the only time people ever visited him in his cupboard was when he was in trouble. "Harry, do you want to come out of there?"

What was he meant to do? He did want to get out, but he didn't know if he should. He didn't like strangers, and even though he recognised the voice, he still wasn't sure. The man reached his arms into the cupboard, obviously trying to pull Harry out of the cupboard. Harry stiffened and shrunk away. "Harry?" the man froze, his arms still outstretched. He let himself be pulled out of the cupboard, but he stiffened instantly in the man's arms, forcing the man to put him down. He backed away from the three men in the hallway.

They were quite odd looking. Aside from the man with black hair, there was a man with dark blonde hair and scars on his face and an old man with long white hair and beard. He looked he was wearing a dress. Harry had to suppress a giggle. It was quite an odd sight.

"Harry, I-I'm your godfather. I knew your mum and dad. They wanted me to take you if anything happened to them" Sirius stuttered, kneeling down to be at Harry's eye line.

Harry didn't know what to say to that. Was the man saying that he wanted Harry? But he was an ungrateful freak, why would the man want him? Harry must have misunderstood. He glanced over at Uncle Vernon, but he was staring at the four other people in the hall in disgust. Harry shivered. He knew that look. That was the look that normally meant something strange had happened and that it was Harry's fault. But this couldn't be his fault, could it? "I don't understand sir"

The man looked confused for a moment, before clearing his throat. "Your mum and dad wanted me to take you, if anything happened to them. That means you get to live with me…if you want to of course"

Want to? Of course he wanted to. He wanted to get away from the Dursleys, and the man did seem nice. He hadn't stopped smiling the whole time he'd looked at Harry, which was unusual because the Dursleys usually just frowned. The other man behind him hadn't said anything, but his eyes looked kind and he was smiling. He liked it when people smiled; it normally meant he didn't have to be frightened.

"You want me to live with you?" Harry whispered, unable to make his voice any louder.

"More than anything Harry. But it's your choice" Sirius answered, sounding very nervous. Harry wasn't really sure why he was nervous.

"You can take the freak! Ungrateful little thing he is" Uncle Vernon burst out, apparently unable to stay silent any longer. Harry glanced up at his Uncle and then began to stare at his feet, unsure what to say. A reassuring hand was placed on Harry's small shoulder and an angry voice erupted from above him.

"A FREAK? THE ONLY FREAK I SEE HERE IS YOU"

"Remus calm down!" the old man ordered calmly. Harry sniffed loudly, trying to stop tears falling from his eyes. It was one thing to know that they thought him a freak, but another thing entirely to know that they didn't like him and didn't want him here. It wasn't exactly a big surprise, but it still hurt. The man, Sirius, pulled Harry into a hug before realising what he had done. Harry stiffened and then relaxed into the hug.

"It's okay Harry. Everything will be alright Harry" Sirius whispered. Harry looked up at Sirius; unshed tears glistening in his eyes. "Do you want to come and live with me…and Remus? We have a bedroom for you"

He would get a bedroom? But Uncle Vernon always said that ungrateful children didn't get a bedroom. He was confused, Uncle Vernon had said that he was ungrateful and a freak, and yet the man still wanted to take him. Harry couldn't deny that he'd like to go with this man, but… But what? The Dursleys didn't want him, he didn't want to stay here and the man obviously did want Harry. And maybe the man would tell him about his mum and dad. He did say that he knew them, and Aunt Petunia wouldn't tell him.

"Sir, I-"

"Sirius, Harry. Call me Sirius"

Harry smiled shyly at him and then threw himself at the man called Sirius. He was almost as surprised by his actions as Sirius was. He wanted to go with Sirius. Harry pulled away bashfully, taking in the broad grin on Sirius' gaunt face. It was contagious. Harry felt his own face split into a grin. Sirius swung him up in one motion and placed Harry on his hip. Harry froze in surprise. Sirius apparently chose to ignore it.

"Harry, this is Remus, he's going to be living with us" Sirius said, gesturing towards the man with the scars. Remus smiled and waved at Harry, who didn't know what to say. "And the tall man is Professor Dumbledore, he was a friend of your parents"

"Are you going now then?" Uncle Vernon asked coldly. Harry hung his head. But then again, Harry had a feeling that he was going somewhere better than 4 Privet Drive. Sirius pulled Harry closer, placing a hand on the back of his head to pull him into a hug. Harry had a feeling that Sirius was trying to block him from hearing the furious retorts that were being thrown at Uncle Vernon. Harry didn't really mind though, for the first time that he could remember he felt safe. Harry felt quite content to rest his head on Sirius' shoulder and hug his bear to his chest.

"Ready to go Harry?" Sirius asked, feeling the vibrations in Sirius' chest as he spoke. Remus walked over to his cupboard, obviously searching for something for Harry to keep. Even if he did find anything, which Harry doubted, he didn't think that he'd want to keep anything anyway. He wanted to put everything from Privet Drive behind him and move past it. Harry had his arms wrapped around Sirius' neck, as the door to 4 Privet Drive swung shut behind them. He couldn't help but smile. He was going home.

_**AN: Sorry I didn't update yesterday, but I spent the day writing furiously instead. I'm going to try and do a twice-weekly update for now; I'm thinking Wednesdays and Saturdays. But anyway, please let me know what you think about this chapter – you have no idea how hard it was to write. I'm still not 100% about this chapter, so please let me know?**_


	12. Chapter 12  Love

_Chapter 12 – Love _

_Your children need your presence more than your presents – Jesse Jackson _

Sirius didn't know what to do. Harry was resting quite contently on his hip, holding his beaten up teddy bear. He wanted to take Harry out shopping, and spoil him rotten but Remus seemed to think that they should take Harry home and let him get comfortable with the house and with them. "Harry? What would you like to do?"

Harry looked at him, confused, almost as if he was scared of answering the question. "What do you mean sir?"

"Call me Sirius, Harry. Would you like to go shopping, or go home?"

"Shopping" Harry whispered, so quietly that Sirius almost missed it. Sirius had decided not to mention his painful shyness, or to ask too much about what the Dursleys did to him, for fear of scaring or upsetting him.

"Harry, this is going to feel really weird. It's going to feel like you're being squashed through a tube, okay? I promise it won't last long, alright?" Sirius asked calmly, painfully aware that apparation was not a comfortable experience. Sirius held out his hand for Remus to take and they both spun into the crushing darkness.

As soon as they arrived, Sirius glanced down at Harry. His eyes were wide and he was sniffing loudly. He obviously hadn't liked it but he obviously didn't want to tell Sirius. That would be those damn Dursleys. They'd obviously told him that he wasn't allowed to cry, and that he wasn't allowed to talk. Sirius shared a glance with Remus. He seemed to know exactly what was going through Sirius' mind, as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Calm down Sirius, think about what you'd lose if you did something rash" Remus cautioned. He glanced down at Harry and Sirius understood. He had Harry to think about now, and he would not let him go back to the Dursleys. Not while he had strength left.

"Harry, what's your favourite colour? So we can do your bedroom. And get you clothes"

Harry stared up at him in surprise. "Blue. Like the sky" Harry whispered, looking scared. He almost looked like he was scared of giving the wrong answer. He shared a glance with Remus, who frowned.

"Blue it is then. Clothes first, then toys and then stuff for your room, okay?" Sirius said, trying to maintain his cheerful demeanour. The three of them walked into the nearest clothes shop and proceeded to spend absurd amounts of money on clothes. Remus and Sirius still chose most of the clothes, Harry was too shy to do anything but sit in Sirius arms and look completely and utterly overwhelmed.

"Toys next Harry" explained Remus, his arms barely able to hold any more bags.

Harry's eyes widened. "I get toys?" Sirius felt his heart clench. The look of surprise on his face was heartbreaking.

"Of course you do Harry. Every kid needs toys" Sirius answered, trying to pretend that Harry's answer hadn't thrown him completely. He lifted Harry up higher and walked into the toyshop, followed by a bag laden Remus. Harry was trying not to show it, but Sirius could tell from the way that his eyes sparkled that he was excited. Hell, if Sirius had been his age he would have been excited too.

"Harry, you can go and choose some toys. Go on" Sirius gave Harry a tiny push towards the toys, and then followed after the boy, trying not to laugh at the excited little boy.

"Can I – I mean, am I allowed this?" Harry was holding up a small fluffy lion.

Sirius couldn't help the grin that spread over his face. He was pretty sure that Remus was grinning next to him. "Of course you can Harry. Do you want me to hold him for you while you look for some more toys?"

Harry grinned, handed him the lion and walked off again, trying desperately to remain calm.

"Who would have known that a simple lion could provide so much amusement?" Remus asked, failing to hide the smile in his own voice. Sirius smiled back at him and then felt the smile drop off his face as a thought that had been nagging him all morning returned.

"He's so like James"

"I know Padfoot. How much money are you planning on spending on him?"

"I think he needs a chance to be spoiled Remus"

"A lot then?"

Sirius' reply was interrupted by the return of Harry, who had two colouring books and a box of pencils balanced precariously in front of him. Sirius smiled at him and held his hands out to take the books and pencils. "Do you want anything else Harry? You're allowed as much as you want"

Harry shook his head, "They're brilliant sir, thank you"

"Sirius, not sir ok? Sir makes me feel old, and I'm very young" Remus snorted in amusement next to him and Sirius elbowed him. "I'll have you know that I'm very young Moony, I'm only 24"

"Not for long, its your birthday in a two weeks" Remus retorted. He had a point there. Sirius was the oldest of the marauders, his birthday being on Bonfire Night. Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus and moved to the queue, ready to pay for Harry's things. Harry followed after him, obviously still overwhelmed by being taken out shopping to buy things for him. After paying Sirius swung Harry onto his hip, trying not to flinch as Harry stiffened and then relaxed.

"Lunch I think. I could eat a hippogriff" Sirius announced, one arm holding Harry and the other holding a large bag from the toyshop.

"Sirius!" Remus hissed in warning. They still hadn't explained magic to Harry and they had said that they were going to wait until he was comfortable with them before they did. Harry hadn't asked any questions about how they'd got there, even though he surely had to be curious. Sirius knew that he would have been. He looked at Remus apologetically and then walked into the small café in front of them.

"Harry, what would you like for lunch?" Sirius asked, having already known what he wanted. Harry looked at him confusion.

"I-I don't know. Aunt Petunia doesn't normally let me choose. I just get what I'm given"

"I'm not Aunt Petunia Harry, you get to choose what you'd like most" Sirius handed him the small menu, watching as his eyes narrowed at the words. Remus leaned over to help him read the menu. Remus was awfully good at this teaching thing. Sirius wondered whether Remus would consent to being Harry's teacher. It was likely that he'd need teaching on his own; he was probably the most famous person in the Wizarding World.

"Harry would like a ham and cheese sandwich, and I would like a Panini. I'll go and order" Remus announced, sliding out of his seat and walking up to the counter.

"Where do you want to go after lunch Harry, we can go home or we can carry on shopping?" Sirius asked, trying to coax Harry into conversation.

"Shopping?" Harry croaked. He looked nervous, like he was scared of giving Sirius the wrong answer. Sirius smiled reassuringly at Harry and then opened his mouth to answer.

"Righteo. We can get all the stuff for your bedroom, and then we can set it up for you later" The next thing Sirius knew was that he was nearly knocked off his seat when Harry threw himself at him, wrapping his tiny arms around Sirius' chest. He smiled; this was the first time that Harry had initiated contact. The smile slid off his face as he thought about the meaning behind Harry's excitement. He'd never had a bedroom with the Dursleys, and he was obviously excited at the prospect. He didn't understand how they could do that to a sweet little boy. His parents had never liked him, but he still had a bedroom. Sick bastards!

He hugged Harry back, rocking forwards again to place Harry back on his seat. Harry was smiling shyly at him and Sirius beamed back at him. Harry had always had Sirius wrapped around his little finger, and now he was just cementing that. Remus returned, managing to hold 3 glasses. "I've got water for you and me and chocolate milkshake for Harry. I figured everybody likes chocolate"

Harry smiled at Remus, and Sirius rolled his eyes. However, before Sirius or Remus could start a conversation, a pretty blonde woman walked over, somehow managing to balance three plates in her hands. She kept batting her eyelids at Sirius, and it was all that Sirius could do to avoid rolling his eyes. He knew that he used to be good-looking but as he was only two days out of Azkaban, he wasn't exactly in the best condition.

"One ham and cheese sandwich, one Panini and one burger with chips. Can I get you anything else?"

"No thanks" Sirius said, "Here you go Harry, enjoy" Sirius passed over the plate of sandwiches and then paused in reaching for a chip to glance at Harry. "Is it alright Harry? Do you need a hand?" Sirius wasn't quite sure how he could help Harry eat his sandwiches, but he offered anyway.

"No sir, can I start?" Harry asked quietly.

"Of course you can Harry, you don't need to ask"

Harry reached for his sandwiches, calmly and politely eating them. At least, he ate it calmer than Sirius ate his burger. He'd never realised how exhausting shopping could be, and he was utterly ravenous. Remus rolled his eyes at him and Sirius made a point of acting offended, much to Harry's amusement. Not that the little boy was keen on showing his amusement, he snorted once and then forced himself not to smile. Remus looked at Sirius. They'd have to change that.

OoOoOo

"Which one do you want Harry?" After lunch, the three of them had gone to a furniture shop and they were now staring at duvet covers, debating which ones to get.

"The light blue one please" Harry whispered. Sirius picked the blue set up, and added it to the trolley of other bedroom things. Harry was holding Remus' hand, and Sirius was pushing the trolley. Sirius paid for the things with the last of his Muggle money and packed them into bags. As he looked at the bags he cursed internally. There were a lot of bags and he wasn't sure that he'd be able to carry them all without using magic. And they'd agreed not to tell Harry about magic. Bugger.

He managed to balance the bags in his arms somehow and led the way out of the shop. Sirius smiled. He didn't care how hard it would be, in the slightest. As long as Harry was happy he couldn't care less what else was happening. He loved that boy, probably more than life itself. Though he didn't think he'd like to test that theory, mainly because that would mean that Harry would probably be sent back to the Dursleys. Harry was back with the people who loved him and that was all that mattered.

_**AN: I really hope you like this chapter, I had fun writing it :D Anyway, please leave a review – they motivate me to write more. See you all on Wednesday **_


	13. Chapter 13  Magic

_Chapter 13 – Magic_

_We do not need magic to change the world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already; we have the power to imagine better – JK Rowling _

"This is our house Harry" Sirius announced to Harry. Harry's eyes widened as he stared up at the house. Remus tried not to laugh at the expression on Harry's face. It was almost comical how far the little boy's eyes popped out of his head. They'd apparated home after coming out of the furniture shop, and much to Remus' annoyance Sirius had handed him a load of bags so that he could pick Harry up. Remus felt like his arms were going to fall off with the sheer number of bags that he was holding. Sirius had gone mad in the clothes and furniture shop, buying enough stuff for about 3 children…and he'd made Remus carry most of it.

"Are we actually going to go in Sirius? Or are we going to stand out here for a bit longer?" Remus asked sarcastically, sparing a grin for Harry when he turned around worriedly, obviously thinking that he'd done something wrong.

"That's a good idea Moony, do you want to go inside Harry? To see your bedroom and everything?" Sirius asked cheerfully, obviously ignoring the poorly veiled annoyance in Remus' tone. Harry nodded excitedly and Sirius carried him into the house, Remus following behind. Sirius showed Harry around the house but Remus went straight to Harry's bedroom and dumped the bags on his bed. He whipped his wand out and began to direct the clothes into their proper place.

He stashed his wand as soon as he'd managed to put the duvet cover on. He didn't particularly fancy explaining magic to Harry just yet. He didn't want to confuse the little boy any more than he surely would be. Harry and Sirius appeared in the doorway, Sirius smiling and Harry stood with his mouth open as he took in the room.

"This is your bedroom Harry" Harry's eyes widened as he took in the light blue walls and the large bed in the middle of the room. He apparently didn't know what to say as instead of speaking he threw himself at Sirius' legs. Remus couldn't help the pang of hurt that went through him then. He'd known that Harry would choose Sirius over him, but it still hurt. It hurt to even look at the joy on Harry's face, to know that he could have stopped it. If they'd made him secret keeper he could have stopped it happening. If he had tried harder, maybe he could have taken Harry. Given him a proper childhood.

His depressing thoughts were interrupted by something hitting his legs. He looked down; Harry's arms were wrapped around his legs. He smiled broadly and picked Harry up, swinging him onto his hip. Remus looked up and saw Sirius watching him with a knowing look in his eyes. Remus rolled his eyes and pulled Harry closer, hugging him back. "Thank you" Harry whispered into Remus' ear. Remus couldn't help the grin that spread over his face at those two simple words. He kissed Harry's forehead and sat down with him on the bed.

"Harry, would you like to see some photos of your mum and dad?" Remus asked, already climbing to his feet to retrieve them.

"You have photos of them?" Harry asked curiously.

"Of course we do. We both went to school with them," Sirius answered as Remus walked out of the room to retrieve the photo album. It was sat in the middle of the bed, almost waiting to be picked up again. Remus had shown it to Sirius last night, as they had contemplated finally bringing Harry home. He brushed a hand over the front of the book and carried it back to the bedroom.

"We need to explain something first" He passed the photo album to Harry and noticed Sirius shooting him a cautious look. Remus understood what he meant but he could see no way other than explaining magic to Harry. The pictures were all going to move, and sure as anything that would startle Harry. "Harry, the photos in this album are going to move, okay? It just means that the people who took them were wizards"

"Wizards? You mean with magic?" Harry asked, confusion plain in his voice.

"That's the one Harry" Sirius confirmed, a smile gracing his gaunt features.

"Magic isn't real, Uncle Vernon says so" Harry said firmly. He pushed his glasses up his nose and crossed his arms. He looked just like James did when Sirius had told him that the Wimbourne Wasps were crap, except for the glint in his eyes that was so like Lily.

"It's very real Harry. Both your mum and dad were magical"

"My mummy and daddy were both wizards?" Harry asked, a disbelieving edge to his voice.

"Girl wizards are called witches Harry. We can show you some magic if you like?"

Harry looked like he didn't know what to do. From the look in his eye, it was obvious that he was curious, but his arms were still crossed and a frown was still on his face. Remus smiled and made the lion begin to roar and walk out of the bag that it was still in. Harry's eyes nearly fell out of his head as he stared at the moving lion.

"But then…" Harry trailed off, obviously still too stunned to say anything that made sense. Remus smiled, Harry's young age would mean that he would accept it a lot quicker than most muggleborn students. And he was so curious, just like Lily. That thought brought a lump to his throat. He'd known Lily better than Sirius had; they'd done prefect duty together for two years. The thought that Harry, who looked so like James, had some part of Lily was strangely comforting. Almost like part of her was still here.

Remus smiled as Harry's face changed from stubborn disbelief to one of amazement. He was obviously beginning to accept what Remus and Sirius had said about magic. He shared a glance with Sirius, who was grinning back at him. Sirius opened the photo album, directing Harry's attention carefully to the grinning and waving photos of James and Lily.

Harry gasped and stared hungrily of the photos. Photos of Hogwarts, the wedding and of them with Harry flicked past Remus' eyes as they looked through the album. Remus forced away the tears in his eyes, "Would you like to keep some of the photos? To put up in your room?"

Harry stared at him, apparently stunned by what Remus had offered. "P-please" he whispered. Sirius and Harry picked out some of the photos, and Remus found the photo frame that they'd bought specially for this purpose. Remus glanced at his watch and stood up suddenly. Harry started and looked up at Remus worriedly.

"Harry what would you like for dinner?" Remus asked warmly, thinking that he already knew what the little boy would say.

"Sir? What do you mean?" Harry asked, a worried edge to his voice.

"What's your favourite thing to eat for dinner Harry? I can go and make it for you"

Harry glanced between Remus and Sirius, obviously still confused. That would be those damn Dursleys. Damn them to hell! "I'm happy with whatever you want to make Sir"

Remus closed his eyes and dropped onto one knee in front of Harry, making sure to make and keep eye contact. "I can make you anything you want Harry. What do you like to eat the most?"

"Er…Spaghetti Bolognese?" Harry asked timidly before rushing on, "Only if it's not too much trouble, that is…"

"Harry relax, Spaghetti Bolognese is easy. I'll go and start it now" Remus said, trying to calm Harry before walking out of the room and into the kitchen. He could distinctly remember Sirius telling him about an incident with Harry and Lily when Harry had thrown his bowl of spaghetti at Lily. Sirius had been nearly crying with laughter when he'd told him. Smiling slightly, Remus reached for the ingredients that he would need.

OoOoOo

"Harry, would you like a bedtime story?" Remus asked, already rummaging in his mind for a story. Sirius had taken Harry for a bath and got him ready for bed, leaving Remus to dwell on his memories of James and Lily to try and think of a story to tell Harry.

"A bedtime story? I never get…" Harry trailed off, unsure whether he should continue.

"Harry you're not with the Dursleys anymore. We want to tell you a story," Sirius said, deliberately avoiding making eye contact with Remus. What he really meant was that Remus would tell him a story. Sirius' memories were still cold and painful from Azkaban, so Remus had volunteered.

"Can you tell me about my mummy and daddy, please?" Harry asked quietly, apparently afraid of offending them. Remus smiled and nodded.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful woman and a handsome man. The man promised to his friends that one day he would marry the woman. But no matter what the man said or did, the beautiful woman wouldn't even talk to him. One day a monster cornered the woman and she couldn't get away, no matter what she tried. The man found out that she was in trouble and raced to help her. He saved her and eventually they fell in love. They got married not long after school finished and then they had a beautiful little boy named Harry. They loved him so very much"

Remus ended the story and glanced at Harry. He was smiling sadly at Remus and was desperately trying not to yawn. Remus smiled broadly and leaned forward to kiss Harry on the forehead, "Good Night Harry, sweet dreams". Remus stood up and walked out of the room, making it to the door before Harry's sleepy voice interrupted him.

"Good Night Remus"

"Night Harry" Remus walked out of the room and down to the lounge, leaving Sirius to say good night to Harry. He knew it was probably a bad idea to have kept it, but Remus reached for the firewhiskey and poured two glasses of the amber liquid. He took a seat in the lounge, waiting for Sirius to emerge from Harry's bedroom. Remus stared into the glass, swirling the liquid as he let himself think about the story he'd told Harry.

"Interesting story Remus" Sirius said, reaching for the proffered glass of firewhiskey.

"I couldn't think of any other stories of both James and Lily that didn't involve Lily shouting, James being a prat or the war"

"That one still involved the war though"

"I know. But I thought I did a decent enough job of not making it too scary" Remus explained.

"Fair point. I wouldn't advise telling him that the day that James and I 'saved' Lily was the day that death eaters killed her parents" Sirius added, a miserable edge to his voice. Remus didn't know what to say to comfort him. They sat in comfortable silence, each of them dwelling on their own thoughts.

"Remus, what are we doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"With Harry. Neither of us are going to be any good at this parenting thing," Sirius sounded wretched, almost as bad as he had when he was in Azkaban. Remus didn't know what to say to that. He didn't think he even had an answer to that. He seemed to recall Lily and James both having similar breakdowns just before Harry was born.

"I think you're meant to think that Sirius. We can give him more than the Dursleys could, and that's all that matters Sirius. We can raise him how James and Lily would have wanted"

_**AN: I don't really have much to say about this, but I really hope you all enjoy it. Please leave a review x**_


	14. Chapter 14  Happiness

_Chapter 14 – Happiness_

_It's never too late to have a happy childhood – Berke Breathed_

Harry didn't want to wake up. He was warm, comfy and perfectly content. He was sure it had been a dream, but it had been such a good dream that he didn't want it to end. He didn't want to have to return to his normal life with the Dursleys. The men in his dream had been nice, and he didn't really want to return to a world where he was disliked. Something fell on his face and he cracked open one of his eyes. A lions tail was resting on his nose. He'd dreamt of a lion, but he didn't have one. The Dursleys wouldn't buy him anything new. Something about him being ungrateful. He opened his eyes and rummaged for his glasses. They weren't right next to his heaad, like they usually were. He sat up and groped around for his glasses. When he finally found them he pushed them on, looking around the room in shock.

He wasn't in his cupboard. He was in a large, bright room with a large bed pushed against a wall. The bed and walls were both a shade of light blue, like the sky. Just like Harry had always wanted. He grinned, it was all coming back to him now; leaving the Dursleys, the new house and Remus and Sirius. Harry leapt out of bed as if he'd been burnt. He didn't want to be alone anymore, he wanted to see the two men, to remind himself that it was real, that it wasn't all a dream. He ran to the bedroom door and then froze. Uncle Vernon forbade him from leaving his cupboard until he was allowed to. What if Remus and Sirius expected the same? Fidgeting slightly, Harry knocked on the inside of the door.

He heard footsteps approaching the door and he backed away, worried that he might have overstepped what he was allowed. The door creaked open and Remus peered in, his hair sticking up like he'd just got out of bed. He looked wide awake though. He looked at the bed and obviously noticed the lack of Harry, because he walked into the room worriedly and then stopped.

"Harry, what are you doing? Was that you that knocked on the door?"

"Yes sir. I wanted to come out, that is if I'm allowed?" Harry asked, still worried that Remus might still say no.

Remus' face was a mask of shock, "Of course you can. Harry, you don't need to ask, you can go anywhere you want, when ever you want"

Harry's mouth fell open in an 'o' of surprise. Did that mean that he had freedom all over the house? He wasn't used to having that. it was going to take some getting used to. That was, if Remus didn't change his mind. Uncle Vernon had a habit of doing that, so Harry wouldn't get too comfortable with his newfound freedom. It could disappear very quickly.

"Do you want some breakfast Harry?"

"Please sir"

"Remus not Sir Harry" Remus reminded him gently. Harry hung his head at being told off. Remus put a hand under Harry's chin and tilted his head up gently. "I'm not telling you off Harry, it's just a reminder, okay?"

Harry nodded sheepishly and followed Remus down into the kitchen. Harry was still surprised at how big the house was. The kitchen was light and airy, and full of the smell of bacon. Sirius was stood in front of the oven, trying to split his attention between watching the eggs and the bacon that were both frying themselves.

"Good morning Harry, did you sleep well last night?" Sirius asked, turning around to reveal a frilly apron. Harry stifled a giggle but Remus roared with laughter. "What are you laughing at?"

Remus managed to choke out an answer. "The apron Sirius, you look like you stole it from Mrs Potter"

"What? I thought I looked rather dashing in it. Don't you think so Harry?"

Harry missed the sarcastic tone to his voice, and thought that Sirius was actually asking his opinion. He didn't want to offend Sirius, he'd been so nice to Harry. "Of course sir"

Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus, and scooped the bacon and eggs onto three separate plates. "Sirius, not sir Harry. Breakfast's ready, dig in"

Harry climbed onto one of the large chairs and waited for the two men to start eating. Sirius gestured towards Harry's plate, obviously implying that he was meant to start eating. Harry did so, sawing at the bacon with the too large knife. Sirius started talking about what he and James got up to at school, and Harry absorbed everything he said. He had an endless thirst for stories about his mum and dad, he could've listened to Sirius and Remus for hours.

Just as the two men finished breakfast, Remus excused himself and announced that he was going to somewhere called 'Diagon Alley'. Sirius handed him something small and leant forwards to whisper something in his ear. Harry looked away, remembering that he wasn't meant to listen to adults conversations. He ate the last scrap of bacon from his plate and slid out of his chair, carrying his plate with him. He ran into a problem when he moved to put the plate into the sink. He couldn't reach. Harry bit his lip, at the Dursleys he was expected to clean up after himself, and Dudley.

"Harry what are you doing?" Sirius asked curiously. Harry spun around, nearly dropping the plate.

"I was gonna wash up sir – I mean Sirius" Harry replied nervously.

"You don't need to wash up Harry. That's my job. I'm meant to look after you, not the other way around"

What? It had been Harry's job ever since he could move the chair and reach. "But sir I -?" Harry stopped. Why was he protesting? It wasn't like he enjoyed it. Kneeling on the chair repeatedly normally hurt his knees and he'd slipped last time and hit his chin on the countertop. He looked up at Sirius, still slightly confused.

Sirius' face hardened. "Harry, you're not with the Dursleys anymore. You don't have to do everything that they made you do"

"O-Okay sir, um, Sirius – sir" Harry trailed off, completely flustered. This freedom that Sirius was apparently giving him was definitely going to take some getting used to. That was if Sirius didn't change his mind. There was always a chance that he might. Uncle Vernon used to do that.

"Harry, do you want to go upstairs and get ready?"

"Yes sir – Sirius"

Sirius smiled and then shepherded him up towards his bedroom. He helped Harry get dressed, most especially with the buttons that he would never normally attempt. He wasn't used to having help. He decided he liked it. It made him feel like he was loved.

"What would you like to do now Harry?"

Harry wasn't used to being able to choose what to do with his day. He looked around his bedroom, his eyes finally settling on the two colouring books that Sirius had bought him yesterday. Sirius followed his eyes and smiled.

"Will you come downstairs to complete your masterpieces? So I know where you are?"

Strange. It sounded like he actually cared. But then again, he did say that yesterday. Harry smiled. He picked the books and pencils up and followed Sirius back downstairs. The man settled himself into the large armchair with a book, leaving Harry to cheerily lie on the floor, colouring books spread out in front of him.

Harry didn't know how long he lay there, very carefully colouring in the pictures in front of him, but he knew that it must have been a long time. he didn't care though, he was perfectly content. He couldn't stop the grin that spread over his face when Remus returned. He was truly happy. He couldn't care less that Remus had returned with toys for him, all he cared was that Remus was home. He climbed to his feet and practically threw himself at Remus. Remus rocked back on his heels and picked him up, grinning broadly. Harry grinned back shyly.

_**AN: I hope you lovely readers enjoy this chapter, I had a lot of fun writing it – that was until I put the news on and saw what had happened in Norway. I really hope everybody is OK. Please leave a review :D **_


	15. Chapter 15: Lions

_Chapter 15 – Lions_

_I was not the lion, but it fell to me to give the lion's roar – Winston Churchill_

Sirius wasn't sure whose grin was biggest – Remus or Harry. They both looked completely and utterly happy. Sirius almost felt like he was intruding on their moment. He couldn't help the slight pang of jealousy that shot through him as he looked at them, but a feeling of foolishness almost immediately smothered it. They both deserved this happiness.

"Harry, I bought something for you"

"Sir?" Harry looked confused, as if he didn't understand what Remus had just said. Remus smiled and handed Harry a large cardboard box. His eyes widened and he lifted the lid off the box with shaking hands. The box contained the beginning of a magical zoo; miniature lions and tigers were prowling around the box. Harry's eyes widened as he stared at them. "T-Thank you sir"

"You are most welcome Harry. Though Sirius and I bought them together"

Harry turned to face Sirius, a grin on his face. Sirius grinned back, watching Harry turn around and let the lions and tigers stalk out of the box. Harry gasped as they roared at him, bringing, if possible, a wider grin to Sirius' face. The grin slid from his face pretty quickly when Remus pulled him aside and spoke.

"Sirius, I want to go and see the Weasleys. I think we should all go-"

"As they were the ones responsible for keeping a fugitive from justice"

Remus ploughed on, completely ignoring Sirius' words. "As they were played by Peter almost as badly as we were. And I want to apologise to them, it can't have been easy for them to have their pet rat turn into a wizard that's meant to have been dead for three years"

"Fair point Moony. Though how well Molly will take my appearance is another matter entirely. The last time I saw her was to tell her that Gideon and Fabian were dead"

Remus shook his head slightly. "We can go after lunch Remus. Harry, do you want to help me make lunch?" Harry looked up and nodded, before very carefully picking the animals up and placing them in the box. He followed Sirius into the kitchen and climbed onto the chair that Sirius had pulled toward the counter. "We've got ham, cheese, jam or tuna. Which one would you like?"

"Jam please" Harry answered quietly, obviously starting to get used to being given a choice.

Sirius handed him the freshly cut slices of bread, letting Harry spread as much jam as he wanted. He still thought the boy needed freedom and to be allowed to make his own choices. Harry arranged Sirius and Remus' sandwiches as well, glancing up at Sirius to make sure that he was doing it right. Sirius smiled and handed him an apple to go with his sandwich.

"Do I smell lunch?" Remus asked warmly, smiling as Harry turned to him. He really was good with Harry. Sirius winked at him as he carried the sandwiches over to the table.

"Harry's the one you should thank, I merely gave him the tools, he created the masterpiece" Sirius announced proudly. Harry blushed and smiled at Sirius as he climbed onto his chair and picked his sandwich up. "Harry, there's some people that we're going to go and see after lunch, that alright?"

Harry looked up at him shyly, "Okay sir…Sirius"

"I'm pretty sure there's someone there who's your age Harry. you can go and play with him while we talk to Mrs Weasley. How's that sound?"

"O-Okay Sirius" Harry answered. Sirius sighed quietly. Lunch passed quickly after that, mainly because Remus managed to coax Harry into a conversation about lions. After lunch, Harry quieted again.

Sirius picked Harry up and carried him outside, making sure to pick one of Harry's lions up and put it in the boy's pocket. Harry was very quiet, even quieter than normal; he was obviously nervous about meeting the Weasleys. To be honest, Sirius was probably just as nervous. The last time he'd seen Molly he'd informed her that her brothers had been killed. He wasn't looking forward to it. He pulled Harry closer and disapparated.

Remus led the way to the tall, slightly wonky looking house awkwardly. He looked as if he were having doubts about the wisdom of saying the Weasleys. It was a bit late for that now, as they were already facing the front door. Remus took a deep breath and knocked smartly on the door. It opened almost immediately, revealing a kind faced, red haired woman.

"Remus! To what do we owe the…pleasure?" She spotted Sirius and Harry stood behind him and her mouth dropped open.

"Afternoon Molly, long time no see" Sirius said, vaguely attempting to sound charming. Molly stepped back to let the three of them into the house. Sirius walked in, very aware of the lack of children.

"Is that Harry Potter? Why have you…?"

"He's my godson. It's my duty to keep him safe" Sirius answered curtly, well aware of the doubt in Molly's eyes.

"Stop it Sirius. Arguing will get us nowhere. I wanted to apologise for my behaviour the other day. I'm sure it must have worried you" Remus interrupted calmly.

Molly smiled reassuringly at him. "Please Remus, don't worry about it. When the truth came out," Her voice suddenly turned cold, "I was sickened. Your behaviour seemed perfectly reasonable. I can't really believe that he actually did it. I do have one question though, why us?"

"Because of your kids, and your brothers. He needed to be somewhere near the Order, but not too close. Not to mention that there aren't many of us left" Remus replied, cutting off Sirius' angry reply. He guessed that it must have been pretty obvious that he was about to swear.

"Near the Order? That was why he chose us?" Molly's voice was rising ominously, like she was building towards shouting at them.

"Molly, where are your boys? I think one of them was a similar age to Harry?" Sirius said quickly, trying to head off Molly's arguments. He also thought that it would be good for Harry to spend time with some children near his age. Harry looked up at him, confused by the use of his name. "Harry, do you want to go and play with some kids your age?"

Harry nodded shyly at Sirius, his hand reaching into his pocket to grasp the lion that Sirius had placed there. Sirius smiled at the action. "You should show the boys your lion"

"They're upstairs, I can call them down? I think Ron is his age"

"Just call Ron, Harry is painfully shy. We don't want to scare him" Sirius whispered to Molly, careful to avoid Harry hearing him. Molly nodded and called said small boy. Someone small thudded down the stairs and then a small, red haired boy walked sheepishly into the room.

"I didn' do it" Ron said as soon as he entered the room. Molly's eyes narrowed and Remus and Sirius both stifled a laugh. That was a rookie mistake. Peter had got them all in trouble more than once by saying that.

"Do what Ronald Weasley?" Molly had her hands on her hips as she stared down her youngest son.

"Er… Who's that?" Ron asked, pointing at Harry. He was obviously trying to distract his mother from her questioning.

"Harry. Don't change the subject Ron, what did you not do?"

"Fred and George took the Bertie Botts from the kitchen" Ron reported, squirming awkwardly as he went against what they had apparently told him. He looked down and moved over to where Harry was sat on Sirius' lap. "Hi, I'm Ron"

"I'm Harry" Harry answered quietly, glancing up at Sirius for reassurance. He smiled and nodded.

"Do you want to go and play with Ron? You could show him your lion?" Sirius asked, glancing at Remus to reassure himself that he was doing this right. Remus smiled amusedly and nodded reassuringly at him. Harry slid off Sirius' lap, tentatively showing his lion to Ron. The red head looked impressed by the lion and dragged Harry off to his room. Harry glanced back confusedly and both Remus and Sirius smiled at him. Harry followed Ron out of the lounge and Molly turned to the two men still in the room.

"How are you finding parenthood?"

"Difficult, but great. I don't think I could love Harry more if he were my son" Sirius answered truthfully.

"What are you planning on doing for education?" Molly asked curiously. That was Sirius' main debate at the moment. At least one of them would need to work, and Sirius had a suspicion that it would have to be him. He'd have to redo his auror training first, and that would mean leaving Harry. Though, he wouldn't exactly be alone – Remus would be there.

"I'm not sure. I guess I'll have to go back to the auror department, so-"

"I can teach him" Remus finished. "That is if we can take certain precautions" He looked at Sirius pointedly.

"Precautions? For what?" Molly asked.

"Remus is in poor health. He has to go to St Mungo's often" Sirius lied smoothly. Remus shot him a grateful look before turning back to smile sadly at Molly.

"I could teach him? On the days that Remus can't? I do teach my boys, and Ginny when she's old enough" Sirius and Remus both stared at Molly in shock. Sirius hadn't expected that. He smiled at Molly.

"Thank you Molly. That would be great" Remus answered, almost seeming to have read Sirius' mind.

"Tell me about Harry. He's so quiet and so small"

How to answer that? He couldn't exactly tell Molly that Harry was neglected and emotionally abused by the Dursleys. He couldn't tell her that Harry was forced to do things that they wouldn't dream of making a child do. His silence obviously seemed to answer the question, because Molly's eyes filled with tears and she gasped. "That's why we took him Molly. To save him from those damn Dursleys, and give him the family he deserves"

_**AN: I really hope you enjoy this chapter, I found it quite hard to write. Oh, the next update might be on Friday or Sunday instead, it's my birthday and I'm going out. But it most definitely will be updated. Please leave a review? They motivate me to write faster!**_


	16. Chapter 16

_Chapter 16 – Moon_

_Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth – Buddha _

"Sirius, are you sure that your charms will hold? I don't want to put you or Harry in danger. Maybe I should…"

"Shut up Remus. The charms will hold, and even on the exceptionally slim chance that they don't, you won't be able to put Harry or I in danger. There are more charms than I'd care to mention on the actual house"

"Yeah but I don't -"

"Remus stop it. Harry and I are going to be perfectly safe and this is the safest place that you can be. I can care for you after the transformation, and Padfoot is still here, if it gets really bad"

Why did Sirius not understand? They never had, any of them. They'd never understood how dangerous he could be. He hated what he became, what he was. He hated how it changed people's opinion of him. It was the first full moon since they'd taken Harry and Remus was terrified that something would go wrong. It was an irrational fear, but a fear nonetheless.

"Remus, are you OK?" Harry's little voice interrupted the two of them. Remus froze. He hadn't planned on having to come up with a cover story so soon. His mind came up a blank. Sirius had always been the one who was good at inventing cover stories; Remus was the one who planned their escapades.

"I'm…No. I'm a bit unwell, I have to go away tonight…to the hospital. I'll be back tomorrow"

"Oh, will you be alright?" Harry looked so innocent that Remus couldn't help but smile. He seemed to have been doing that an awful lot since they'd brought Harry home. Harry's concern for Remus' safety was heart-warming. He picked Harry up and kissed his forehead.

"I'll be fine in a day or two. Shall we go and do some more reading?" Remus had started teaching Harry to recognise the alphabet and simple words. Harry nodded excitedly and took Remus' hand, dragging him back to the room where Remus normally taught. He smiled broadly at his excitement and waved quickly to Sirius.

OoOoOo

Remus could feel the moon. He could feel its tug, feel it washing poison through his veins. It was making his whole body tremble. He was sat on the floor of the basement, his clothes safely stored by the wall, waiting for the pull of the moon to become unbearable. The tremors were getting worse, the pain of his bones shifting increasing. As per usual it all hit at the same time.

The bones all snapped and realigned; and the muscles tore and sewed themselves back together in new places. It felt as if his nerves were on fire. His skin was stretching and his face was lengthening. His eyes were changing and he couldn't help it, he howled in agony. The pain of the transformation always dulled in his memory, but it always came back now. It felt like his entire body was on fire and then doused in ice-cold water. One final tremor and it was complete, man had become wolf.

The wolf prowled around the basement, frustrated at the small amount of space that it had. The wolf froze. There was a smell in the air, one that the wolf recognised. It was Padfoot. It had been a long time since they'd spent a moon together. But then where was he? It was an old smell; he wasn't here. The wolf howled in frustration. Padfoot should be here, the wolf knew that he was the only other one left from their pack and he wasn't here. His pack had left him.

OoOoOo

The next thing Remus was aware of was of somebody wiping his face. He tried moving his fingers and toes, then his hands and shoulders. He groaned in pain and moved his head, trying to see what was wrong with his shoulder.

"Stop moving you muppet! Or you'll knacker your shoulder even more"

"Ngghh…what's wrong with my shoulder?"

"It would seem that you've dislocated it…again. And you've managed to cut all up one side of your face. If you'll stay still for more than 5 seconds I can heal it"

Remus grimaced and lay back. He didn't want to say it but he was slightly worried. Sirius had never exactly been the gentlest of people. He didn't want to tell him that though; Sirius could be very sensitive if the situation arose. Remus felt his eyelids flutter close and decided that fighting sleep would be futile.

OoOoOo

"Remus, what are you doing?"

"It's cold…and I want to go back in the house"

Sirius ran forwards and placed Remus' around his shoulders, helping him to climb up the stairs. Sirius led him into the house and up to the bathroom. Remus smiled tiredly. Sirius had run him a bath. Sirius helped Remus climb into the bath and smiled when Remus sighed in contentment.

"I'm going to go make Harry's breakfast, but call me when you're done. You're going to need help if you don't want to knacker your shoulder that I so carefully healed"

Remus blushed. He didn't need Sirius' help with everything. He nodded anyway and lent back happily. The warm water was bliss. It soothed the aches in his muscles and the pain in his joints. He smiled, it was like the water was washing away the vestiges of the horrors of the night before.

A giggle brought Remus' attention back to the real world. He should probably get out of the bath – the water was slowly cooling and yet, he was still comfortable. That was a rare thing the day after the moon. He groaned as he pulled himself to his feet, his shoulder was absolutely killing him. He swung one leg out of the bath, and then the other quickly, breathing heavily. He felt light headed and he had to grab the sink to stop himself from falling over. He cursed and grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist. Remus stumbled out of the bathroom and down to his bedroom.

"Remus, you moron! I told you to wait"

"I'm a grown man Sirius. I managed alright in the three years that I was alone, I'm sure I can manage now"

Remus knew he shouldn't have said it as soon as the words left his mouth, and yet it was too late by then to stop the harm that they would cause. He didn't need to see the shock and hurt on Sirius' face to know that. arguing with the one friend he had left would get him nowhere. He just needed Sirius to understand that three years had passed in which Remus had managed on his own.

"You're not alone! Not anymore. Let me help you"

Remus' pride urged him to say no, but his heart told him to say yes. He guessed that Sirius needed to feel like he had a purpose. The poor man still felt that he was to blame for James and Lily's death; he was trying to earn redemption. Remus had told him every day that it wasn't his fault, but Sirius still didn't believe him. Remus would do anything for him, and so he was willing to sacrifice his pride if it helped Sirius. He nodded towards Sirius and let Sirius help him to his room.

"I'm going to sleep, before I drop" Remus said sleepily. Sirius smirked and pulled back the bed sheet, helping Remus climb into bed. "Thank you Sirius"

OoOoOo

When Remus woke up, he was ravenous. He thought he could have eaten a hippogriff. He climbed out of bed, his exhausted muscles protesting at the sudden movement. He managed to change his trousers before his head started swimming. Remus had to put both of his hands on the wall to stop the room from spinning. Remus cursed and reached for a t-shirt, which he pulled over his head quickly. He edged carefully down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Remus! Are you ok?" Harry's little voice asked. Remus looked down to see a pair of large green eyes watching him curiously. He smiled and would have reached down to pick up Harry, if he thought his balance would survive. He settled for leaning down and planting a kiss on Harry's messy head.

"I will be Harry. I'm just tired…and hungry"

"Sandwich Moony?" Sirius asked. Remus turned around and tried not to laugh. Sirius looked for all the world like a housewife. He had a knife in one hand and a rolling pin in the other. Sirius seemed to notice the look of barely concealed mirth on Remus' face as he frowned.

"Please Sirius. The biggest sandwich that you can manage" Remus answered, grinning sweetly at his best friend. Sirius rolled his eyes and turned his back on the two of them.

"Harry, have you given your lion a name yet?" Harry had taken to taking his cuddly lion around everywhere with him for the last two days. Sirius had decided that the lion needed a name, but Harry had yet to come up with one.

"Um…I don't know?"

"I don't know? That's a bit of a rubbish name"

Harry giggled and Remus smiled. He loved the sound of Harry laughing. He always had. Remus racked his brains, trying to think of a name. If the look of concentration on his face was any indication, Harry was doing the same.

"What about Leo?" Sirius interjected.

"Have some imagination Sirius"

"You come up with something then"

"As it's Harry's lion, I think that he should be allowed to choose…if he wants"

"What about Finley?" Harry asked, looking between the two men worriedly.

"I think Finley's a great name. Finley the lion it is" Remus answered reassuringly.

"Wasn't there a guy in our year called Finley? He was a Hufflepuff wasn't he?" Remus shook his head frantically at Sirius, trying to make him stop talking, but then Sirius asked the one question that Remus had been dreading. "Where is he now?"

Remus sighed. How could he tell Sirius that aurors had found Finley's body only a few days after he'd got arrested? He'd been dreading the day that Sirius asked him about their schoolmates. Far too many of them died or fled during the war. "Um…the aurors found him, a few days after Halloween"

Sirius' eyes widened and then he looked down. Remus knew that he understood what he meant, and that he'd managed to avoid letting Harry know anything. The little boy had grinned and ran to bring the newly named Finley to the table.

"How many did we lose?" Sirius whispered as soon as Harry left the room.

"Too many. Gryffindor took the biggest hit, but of the forty two students in our year, eight died and five fled. Can we talk about something more cheerful?"

Remus was too exhausted from the moon to talk about the war. The moon normally had this effect on him, but it didn't normally leave him so emotionally drained. He felt like he had the day after the Potter's funeral. He knew that having Sirius back would bring back good memories, but he hadn't counted on it bringing back so many sad memories. Remus sighed loudly. He wouldn't normally be thinking like this, the moon had taken its toll on him. Just like it did every month. He was so…tired. And it was all because of the moon.

_**AN: I have a question to ask, but I'm not sure if I know how to ask it without sounding whiney or ungrateful, so I think I'll just have to ask it straight. Is this story not very good? Has it slowly gotten worse? There seems to be very little interest in this story and it is quite disheartening. I guess what I'm really asking is if anybody is reading this anymore? And if you are, is it actually any good?**_

_**I'm really sorry to sound ungrateful to the lovely reviewers that I normally have, and I really don't want to come off as a stroppy author, but I just want to know if people are enjoying it. **_

_**Jaz x**_


	17. Chapter 17: Nightmares

_Chapter 17 – Nightmares_

_They were there. They looked just like they did in the photos, smiling and waving at him. Harry wanted to get to them, to finally get to speak to them. There was a green light in the background, racing towards the figures. Harry knew that he needed to get there first. But his little legs would only carry him so far, and the figures seemed to be moving into the background. A loud scream rent the eerily still air and Harry's head snapped up; just in time to see the flash of green light catch up with them and the two people crumple to the ground._

"_No, NOOOO!"_

Harry thrashed and convulsed under his bed sheets in panic. It had seemed so realistic, almost like it was a long buried memory. But that was silly. Aunt Petunia had told him that his parents died in a car crash, and there would be no reason for her to lie to him.

"HARRY! Harry!"

The door to his bedroom banged open, a worried Sirius and Remus charging in before it had hit the wall. Harry's green eyes met the worried grey ones hovering above him. Sirius sat down heavily on the bed and began to push Harry's fringe off his sticky forehead. Remus left the room, but returned moments later with a cold flannel, which he placed on Harry's forehead. Harry couldn't shake the lingering feeling of horror that the nightmare had left.

"It's OK Harry, you're safe. But…would you like to come sleep in my bed…with me?"

Harry stared at Sirius in shock. Living with these two men had just been surprise after surprise. He'd never been allowed to go into an adult's bedroom before. Harry couldn't deny that being with Sirius would be reassuring, not to mention that he felt safe with Sirius. He nodded shyly and picked up the newly named Finley. Sirius smiled slightly and picked Harry up, holding him close to his chest.

"Are you OK now Harry?" Remus asked. Harry nodded quickly and leant his head on Sirius' shoulder. It was awfully comfy, and Harry could already feel his eyelids fluttering closed. Sleep came quickly.

OoOoOo

Harry was confused when he woke up. He wasn't in his bedroom. He was in a small, white room with a large bed in the middle of the room. He had only just got used to the blue walls of his bedroom, and now he was somewhere new. Maybe Sirius and Remus had changed their minds about letting him have his own room. Harry choked back a sob, did that mean he had done something bad? He wasn't aware that he'd done anything. He rolled over sadly and gasped, memories flooding back.

Sirius Black was still asleep next to him. His hair was falling over his face, resting lightly on his high cheekbones. There were shadows under his eyes and his mouth was slightly open. Harry tried not to laugh, he was snoring slightly. He felt a lot better now that he knew that he wasn't in trouble. Harry silently slid out of the bed and padded down to his bedroom, Finley in hand.

"Harry? You're up early" Remus' voice made Harry jump guiltily. He wasn't sure that he was meant to come out of Sirius' room before he was awake.

"Sorry si – Remus"

"For what? You don't have to apologise for being up before Sirius, he sleeps like a log when he wants to. Breakfast Harry?"

Harry nodded and followed a pyjama clad Remus down to the kitchen. Harry guessed he was predictable because Remus poured him a glass of apple juice and put a slice of bread in the toaster. Harry smiled and took his seat at the table.

"Did you sleep alright Harry? No more nightmares?"

"No sir…Remus"

"Do you mind me asking what was in your nightmare?" Remus sounded worried, like he wasn't really sure of the wisdom of asking Harry about his nightmare. Harry was confused, nobody had ever asked him about his nightmares before. They normally ignored him, or shouted at him for screaming and waking them all up. He didn't really want to talk about his nightmare, but he couldn't see any harm in it.

"Screaming…and a flash of green light, that's all I can remember" Harry frowned. It didn't sound remotely scary now that he said it out loud. He couldn't explain the eerie stillness of the air or the feeling of fear that permeated everything. He glanced up at Remus. The blood had completely drained from his face and he was gripping the counter tightly.

"Is everybody O – Remus are you alright? You look like you did when Kevin asked you if you were gay" Sirius walked in, completely oblivious to what Harry had just said.

"Very funny Padfoot. I was just…Never mind, it doesn't matter"

Sirius narrowed his eyes at Remus and then turned to Harry, a smile already on his face. "You OK Harry? I was worried when I woke up and you weren't there"

Damn. Harry knew that he shouldn't have left when he woke up. He didn't want to worry or disappoint Sirius; not when he'd been so kind to Harry. He felt tears well up in his eyes and he stared at the floor.

"Hey Harry, there's no need for that. it's OK, shh. You've done nothing wrong" Sirius picked him up and held him close, apparently trying to soothe him. Harry guessed that Sirius didn't like seeing him cry, Uncle Vernon never did. He sniffed loudly, trying to make the tears stop by sheer force of will alone. He didn't want Sirius to think he was a crybaby. Harry did not want to disappoint Sirius, that was probably his biggest fear.

"Please don't send me back. I didn't mean to – "

"Send you back where? Harry I wouldn't send you back to the Dursleys even if you asked. We love you Harry, and this is where you belong"

Harry gaped at Sirius. He felt like his heart was about to explode with joy. Sirius had said that he was where he belonged. Harry's face split into a broad grin. He did feel like he belonged here, like it was some newly discovered long lost home. Sirius grinned back. He pulled Harry close, giving him a fierce hug.

OoOoOo

Harry was lay on his stomach, arranging the lions and tigers that Remus had brought him. He was quite content to just place them on the floor and watch them prowl around, roaring at each other.

"Harry, here's your drink" Sirius announced, setting a small glass of milk on the wooden floor next to Harry.

"Thank you Sirius" Harry said, barely tearing his eyes away from the animals in front of him. Sirius ruffled Harry's hair and moved away to play chess with Remus. Harry reached forward and took a drink of the milk, still watching the magical cats in front of him. As often happens when you're not paying complete attention, he didn't place the glass back completely flat and it fell to the floor, spilling the white liquid all over the floor.

Harry stared at it in horror, watching it fall in slow motion. He tried to catch the glass, desperately trying to stop the mess that would surely occur. He tensed and gasped as he heard the tinkling sound of the glass hitting the floor. The sound seemed to be mocking him; it dragged on for an eternity and yet it was over in a heartbeat. It seemed to almost be signalling the end of the dream, the beautiful dream that he'd been living for the last week. Sirius' earlier words were forgotten as panic set in. He'd done something wrong, and they wouldn't want him anymore. They'd send him back to the Dursleys. They wouldn't an ungrateful freak. Uncle Vernon had been right, Sirius and Remus had given him everything he could have hoped for and now he'd thrown it back in their faces. Today had just been one nightmare after the other.

_**AN: Right, I feel I should apologise for what I said in the last chapter, I'm just feeling a bit insecure at the moment :S But, thank you so much to the people that reviewed, they actually made me feel heaps better :D**_

_**Anyway, I have a question to ask. I want to introduce some romance, but I'm not sure if it should be slash or not. I have an idea where either could go, so I want to ask you guys what you think would be best? I'd love to hear from all of you x**_


	18. Chapter 18: A new friend

_Chapter 18 – a new friend_

_We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment – George Eliot_

"Remus, what do we do? The poor boy is terrified and I don't know how to reassure him"

"I don't know if you can Sirius. I think we just need to show him love"

"We have to do something Remus. We can't just leave him as he is"

"Well what do you suggest Sirius?"

Sirius didn't know how to answer that. He understood perfectly why Harry was afraid, but he didn't know how to solve that. Now that he thought about it, Harry had been scared the whole time that he'd been with them. Sirius cursed, he'd written it off as getting used to the new house. He'd only spilt a glass of milk, but the look of fear on his face was more fitting with blowing up the house. He didn't know how to help Harry. Remus was probably right, all they could do was give Harry all the love and support that he deserved. He still wished that he could do something more to help him.

"He needs something to help him feel safe"

"Are you implying what I think you are? Sirius that's a bad idea"

"No it's not. It's a brilliant idea Moony, think about it. He'll feel safer and more secure. Not to mention that it'll give him a friend, one that's not a scary adult. It'll make him less shy and –"

"Sirius, it's not something that can be undertaken easily. I can't deny the benefits, but I'm still not sure it's wise"

"Well, you think of something better then"

Silence. Remus appeared to be in deep thought. "Bugger. Why are you always right?"

"Because I am superior to you in nearly every way"

Remus snorted. "Superior? At what?"

Sirius glared at him indignantly. The way they teased each other was almost like it had been before that night. Sirius had been trying so hard to get their old camaraderie back, but it was proving difficult. Sirius hadn't expected it to be easy, they were both still nursing the pain of not being trusted, and Sirius had a shrewd suspicion that they would for the rest of their lives.

"So that's a yes Remus? Perfect. Can you let Dumbledore know, tell him to come tonight. I shall go get Harry, and try to persuade him that we're not angry"

"Good luck with that" Remus flung over his shoulder, already walking towards the fireplace where he could contact the headmaster. Sirius frowned slightly and then began to climb the stairs up to Harry's bedroom. He knocked on the door, worried about what Harry's reaction would be. There was no reaction to the knock, so he pushed the door open gently.

Harry was sat on the bed, little arms wrapped around his legs. Sirius thought that his heart was breaking as the little boy looked up, tears flooding down his face. Sirius moved forwards, but Harry flinched away almost instinctively.

"Harry? Am I allowed to sit with you?" Sirius asked gently, trying to take talking to Harry slowly. Harry didn't look back up, but he nodded slightly. Sirius sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. Sirius didn't know what to say to draw Harry into conversation.

"I'm so sorry sir, I didn't mean to do it. It was an accident. Please, I – I can go and fix it" Harry wailed, cutting off any attempt that Sirius made to start the conversation.

"Oh Harry…I know it was an accident, you're not in trouble Harry. We've already fixed it, we were just worried about you" Sirius wanted to go and kill the Dursleys for doing this to Harry, he wanted to make them suffer for what they had done to the poor, innocent little boy in front of him. Harry looked up at him incredulously.

"But I –"

"Harry look, you're not in trouble I promise. I just…it was an accident Harry, I know that. I came in to ask you something actually"

"Sir?"

Sirius sighed. Harry had fallen back on calling him sir. He was obviously still scared that Sirius was going to explode in anger. What the hell had those Dursleys done to him to make him this scared? "Harry, would you like to come out with Remus and I?"

"But… am I not going to be punished? I normally –"

"Harry you're not going to be punished for an accident. Whatever the Dursleys did to you, I promise you that it will not happen to you again. Do you want to come out with us?"

Harry nodded and sniffed loudly, pushing his glasses up his nose. Sirius picked him up, pulling him into a tight hug. Harry settled his head on Sirius' shoulder and Sirius smiled, before swinging to his feet in one movement and carefully walking out of Harry's room, said little boy tucked in his arms.

OoOoOo

They'd taken Harry to a dog shelter, hoping that the boy could find a dog to be his friend and 'protector'. Though how the dog that Harry was playing with now could be his protector, Sirius didn't know. Of all the dogs that Harry could have chosen, he chose a nine-week old golden retriever. Sirius couldn't help but roll his eyes slightly at that. Harry had looked in the puppy's dark brown eyes and apparently melted.

"Shall we bring that one home then Harry?"

Harry turned his large emerald eyes on Sirius, surprise obvious on his little face. "Home? I don't understand"

"Do you not want to? We thought a dog would make a good friend for you. But, if you don't want to…"

"You mean I get to keep him? To take him home?"

"Of course Harry. If you want to, that is? Why would I offer if I didn't mean it?"

Harry didn't say anything, but his eyes filled with tears. Sirius panicked slightly, worried that he'd upset Harry. Harry looked at the puppy again and then threw himself at Sirius. Sirius grinned broadly and hugged Harry back, making sure not to lift Harry up so he could turn around and pick the puppy up.

"So you want to Harry?" Remus asked, smiling broadly at Harry's pleasure. Harry didn't answer, but picked the puppy up, hugging it to his chest and grinning broadly at the two men.

"Come on, we should go. Get him home and buy stuff for him" Sirius said, watching Harry try to pick the puppy up and walk out of the room. The dog was too big for his little arms to manage, so Remus smiled at him and picked Harry and the puppy up, swinging Harry on to his hip.

"Can you think of a name Harry?" Remus asked, smiling as he watched the dog try to lick Harry's face.

"What about Jethro?" Sirius interjected calmly.

"Since when is your name Harry?"

"I like it" Harry announced, holding the small puppy tightly to his chest. Sirius smiled smugly at Remus, who glared right back at him.

"I now pronounce you as Jethro. We now have to go and buy all the stuff we need"

OoOoOo

Remus had saddled Sirius with the bags, bleating feebly about still having a painful shoulder. Sirius was not impressed; the bags were damn heavy and were an odd shape. His arms could barely manage to keep hold of them. Harry was holding the lead in one hand and gripping Remus' hand tightly with the other, a broad grin on his face. The walk from the apparation point had never seemed particularly long before, but now Sirius felt like it was never going to end.

"Doesn't he need a bedroom?" Harry asked timidly. Sirius glanced at him, trying to smile reassuringly at him. Sirius had been trying since he'd taken Harry to make the little boy ask questions, to try to make him more comfortable with them. He'd finally succeeded.

"Well, where would you like him to sleep Harry? We have a bed for him, but as he's your dog, you should choose"

Harry looked terrified at the very thought of choosing. Remus saved him the trouble of thinking of somewhere. "What about your room Harry? So he can keep you company?"

Harry grinned shyly at Remus, and Sirius couldn't help but smile at the innocence on his little face. He looked so…happy at the prospect of keeping Jethro close. Sirius could only wish that he could find happiness so easily. He'd figured that Harry would want to keep the retriever close, after all that kind of was the point of getting the puppy. Sirius carried the bed up to Harry's bedroom and placed a mat next to it, to place a bowl of water on.

Sirius tried not to smile. The dog kept staring at Sirius, obviously able to detect something canine about Sirius. He didn't want to scare the puppy, but at the same time he knew that transforming would probably make training the puppy a damn sight easier.

"Remus, when's Dumbledore coming?" Sirius asked suddenly, remembering that the old man had said that he would visit.

"Just before dinner, as it's term time" Remus answered sleepily, apparently having been on the edge of falling asleep in his armchair. Sirius couldn't help but smirk, though he guessed that Remus could be forgiven for that. After all, the full moon had only been a few days ago. Remus slowly climbed to his feet, muttering something about food and left the room, leaving Sirius to keep an eye on Harry.

As he watched Harry play tug of war with Jethro, Sirius couldn't help but smile. He didn't think he'd ever had a better idea than deciding that a dog would be the best solution to Harry's fear. Sirius grinned broadly; the dog would give Harry the one thing that the little boy needed most – a friend.

_**AN: I feel like I should explain why I chose to have them get a dog. I have a golden retriever, and he's always there, through thick and thin. They're very loyal and very friendly – I figured that would be something Harry needed.**_

_**I still haven't figured out whether to do slash or not, I'm undecided. I have arguments for and against for both, and let's just say I'm stuck. If anybody would like to give me an opinion, it would be most welcome. Please review x**_


	19. Chapter 19: Pieces

_Chapter 19 – Pieces _

_The heart is the only broken instrument that works – T.E Kalem_

"How is Harry fitting in?" Dumbledore asked. He'd arrived just after Sirius had transformed back into a man after apparently 'talking' to Jethro. Remus had tried not to laugh at the strange sight of the small golden puppy staring fearfully at the large, shaggy black dog. He had no idea how the two of them had communicated but the puppy had been oddly well behaved since. He'd run off to distract Harry, leaving Remus and Sirius with the headmaster.

"Well, sometimes. He's scared of just about everything, and I'm not sure how to help him. I wonder what the hell those Dursleys did to him" Sirius replied coldly, barely managing to contain his anger. Remus shook his head in exasperation, he knew that Sirius was angry, but it wasn't exactly the old man's fault. He had seemed genuinely surprised by how the Dursleys had been treating him.

"Being angry at me won't help Harry" Dumbledore replied calmly.

"He wouldn't need help if you'd given him to someone who actually cared for him"

Remus face palmed himself. Throwing accusations at Dumbledore would get them nowhere. "Arguing about what happened in the past will get us nowhere. What's done is done, and nothing you can say is going to change that"

"I couldn't have said it better myself Remus. The only thing that you can do now is help Harry. Try to make him happy"

"What would you suggest?" Sirius asked sarcastically, obviously still angry at the old professor.

"You seem to be doing a perfectly adequate job. He looked awfully happy when I saw him walk out into the garden"

Remus and Sirius shared a look. "That wasn't anything we did, that was because of Jethro"

"The dog? I think you'll find that you're already doing what you're meant to. The most important thing is for him to feel safe, cared for and loved"

Remus rolled his eyes. The old man was still bleating on about how love was the most important magic in the world. It hadn't done James and Lily much good, had it? Thinking of them brought the old pain back again. It was like the ache of an old injury, he didn't think it would ever fully heal.

"Everybody keeps saying that, but nobody says how" Sirius exclaimed, sounding like he was on the edge of a breakdown. Remus guessed that the stresses of Azkaban and freedom were finally catching up with him, not to mention the strain of suddenly having to care for a four year old boy, regardless of how sweet said little boy was. Remus couldn't blame him for that; both of their lives had changed so much over the past two weeks. Hell, two weeks ago Remus had been crying himself to sleep nearly every night.

"Sirius, you're already doing it. You just need to be patient and keep reassuring him. I know it's hard, but he probably needs to be reminded"

Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed. Apparently, Sirius didn't think that that was good enough. Remus couldn't argue with that, Sirius was the one who grew up in an abusive home. He probably had some idea already of what he thought that Harry needed, and obviously it wasn't just what everybody else had suggested.

An awkward silence fell between the three men. Remus knew that it was up to him to carry on the conversation. A shriek and a loud peal of laughter interrupted Remus' attempt of conversation. A broad grin spread over Sirius' face and Remus couldn't help but smile at Harry's contagious laugh.

"I don't know why you're so worried, Harry sounds utterly thrilled" Dumbledore assured the two men in front of him, before rising to his feet, "I just came to check how you were coping with Harry, and freedom. I must return to Hogwarts before I am missed. Farewell"

Remus nodded and waved at the headmaster, before walking out of the house to find Harry and Jethro. Harry was playing tug of war with the small puppy, a broad grin on his face. Remus stopped; quite content to lean against the wall and watch them play.

"He looks…happy" Sirius' voice broke into Remus' consciousness. Remus turned to look at Sirius and saw a far away look on his face.

"You know that's because of you, right? It was your idea Sirius" Remus didn't even stop to think about the fact that he had to reassure Sirius about the one thing that he'd been sure about. He had expected that he'd need to help Sirius when he'd got out of Azkaban, to help him regain his feet in the wizarding world. He'd figured that Sirius would need him; Remus knew that Azkaban was meant to be hell on earth.

Harry's cheerful voice interrupted Remus' depressing thoughts. "Are you OK? You both look really sad"

"Just thinking Harry. How are you getting on with Jethro?"

Harry grinned shyly, "I love him. He's brilliant"

Remus grinned as Sirius moved forwards, tickling Harry's sides relentlessly. Harry shrieked with laughter and tried to squirm away from Sirius, his eyes twinkling with mirth. The likeness between Harry and James had never hit him so forcefully before, but now it was all that he could see. The number of times that Remus had seen a similar look of joy on James' face made his heart ache. He didn't think he'd ever truly be able to deal with James' death. He and Sirius had been the first people (aside from his parents) to accept him for what he was, and the pain of losing that would linger with him forever. It was like his heart had shattered into a million pieces on the day that he'd heard what happened, and no matter what he did, he didn't think he'd be able to put the pieces back together.

Remus excused himself, muttering some excuse about getting a jumper and raced inside. He had been a wreck before the truth had come out, and he was a fool if he'd thought that that would go away as soon as Sirius returned and they'd taken Harry.

Remus felt overwhelmed by it all. In just two days he'd gone from a grief worn shell of a man, to a man forced to care for his one remaining friend and the last remnant of his other true friends. He hadn't even had time to absorb what was happening. He'd just done it blindly, fighting to try and regain that which he once had. But it wasn't the same. It would never be the same again; James and Lily were gone and no matter how much Harry looked like his father, it wasn't the same. He didn't think that he was the same man either. He carried far too much grief, exhaustion and guilt to be the same cheerful man that he had been.

But he wasn't alone anymore, Sirius and Harry were still here; and they were the most important people in the world to him. As hard as it might be to move on, Harry and Sirius were the last things he had left. He would do just about anything for them. Including making them come out of the December air, to stop them getting a cold. But first, he had to make something.

"Harry, Sirius, Hot Chocolate?" Remus called, trying not to laugh at the two of them playing with Jethro. Harry raced into the kitchen, making sure to wipe his shoes on the doormat. Sirius and Jethro followed at a more stately pace. "If you sit down Harry, I'll hand you the cup"

Remus handed Harry and Sirius a cup of hot chocolate and shifted Jethro's bed. The puppy ignored it and laid down next to Harry's chair. They couldn't have found a more loyal dog for Harry if they'd tried.

OoOoOo

Remus was sat in his usual armchair after saying good night to Harry, deep in thought. He couldn't shake the grief that had been occupying his mind all day. He'd spent three years trying to deal with James and Lily's deaths, and though it had gotten easier, the pain had never eased. He'd hoped that having Sirius back would make the pain easier, but it had only made it harder.

"Remus, stop thinking about them" Remus jumped, he hadn't noticed Sirius' appearance. The raven-haired man walked over, practically throwing himself on to the sofa in front of him.

"Thinking about who?" Remus asked, trying to cover up his own mistake. He knew it was a bad idea to bring up James and Lily in front of Sirius. He didn't think the poor man had recovered from their deaths.

"James and Lily. Don't try to deny it Remus, it was pretty obvious from your facial expression that you were thinking about them" Sirius replied softly, moving towards where Remus was sat.

Remus sighed. "I was just thinking about how hard it was…when I was alone"

"You're not alone anymore Remus. We're mourning the same people"

"I know, I just…it was hard Sirius, everything I had was ripped away from me that night. I lost everything! I know what you went through was worse, but…"

"It was hard, for both of us" Sirius muttered, drawing Remus to his feet and pulling him into a hug. Sirius had always been able to make people feel better, ever since school. Remus knew that Sirius was dealing with his own grief, but he still took the time to try and make Remus feel better. He was damn good to Remus, always had been and probably always would be. Remus smiled sadly. His heart had been broken into pieces for years, but Sirius was already helping him to pick the pieces back up.

_**AN: So I've made my choice about partners, and I really hope it won't annoy too many people. I'm not going to tell you what that choice is, and I'm not going to explain it either – yet. **_

_**Any who, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, I had issues writing the end. Please leave a review x**_


	20. Chapter 20: Trees

_Chapter 20 – Trees_

_The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other – Burton Hillis _

"Found it!" Harry announced triumphantly

"Well done, I knew you'd find it. Do you want to put it in?"

Harry nodded and scampered back to the puzzle that he and Remus were trying to complete. Sirius had gone to the ministry, explaining how he needed to rejoin the auror department, but that Remus would still be here; acting as Harry's teacher. Harry had nodded, slightly confused by what an auror was and hugged Sirius fiercely, somehow aware that his fear of Sirius not returning was completely irrational. Harry shook his head and placed the last piece in its place, completing the image. Harry gasped as the puzzle shone brightly and then dulled, the lines from the edges of the pieces suddenly invisible.

"I'm going to help some help getting the stuff for the tree. Do you know anybody who might be willing?" Remus asked with a smile.

Harry stared at Remus. He could do that job, he could help; though he'd never done it before. Dudley had been allowed to help with the tree last year, but Harry had had to watch, jealousy rising in him. Though Remus probably didn't mean Harry, he was probably meant to say Ron, or one of his older brothers. He had to check though, he did really want to help. "I could help, if you think I can"

Remus chuckled and picked Harry up, swinging him onto his hip. "I think you'll be perfect Harry" Remus smiled and Harry grinned back happily. Today was going to be a good day.

OoOoOo

Harry stared at the stag in his hands intently. Sirius said that it was made of cherry wood. It was beautiful whatever it was. It had been carved out of a single piece of wood – it had obviously taken Sirius a long time to carve it. It seemed oddly familiar, he knew it was special and it meant something, but he didn't have any idea why. He ran his small fingers over the intricately carved antlers and looked up. Sirius and Remus were both watching him and the stag sadly.

"Do you want to hang it Harry?" Sirius asked softly, so softly that Harry had to strain his ears to hear him over the wireless. He looked at the stag again. He wasn't particularly clumsy, but he didn't know if he trusted himself with the delicate wooden stag.

"You can do it"

Sirius sighed and took the stag from Harry's hands. "You have to tell me where to put it then" Sirius held the stag up to the tree, apparently waiting for Harry to tell him where to put it.

"Up…up…Perfect" Sirius smiled and took the wooden dog that Remus handed to him, after first offering it to Harry, who shook his head. The decorations all looked so delicate. They almost looked too pretty for him to touch. He figured it would be much safer for Sirius and Remus to do it, and for him to watch and maybe direct, as Sirius seemed so keen on making him do something.

"Sirius what did you do with the other one?" Remus muttered, leaning forward to try to avoid Harry hearing. It was however, pointless – Harry could hear every word they said. He knew he shouldn't listen to adult's conversations, but he was curious about this 'other one'. He had the strangest feeling that this unnamed 'other' was important.

"I thought I might burn it…as he burned us" Sirius turned around and smiled at Harry. "Harry will you help me do the lights? I need someone special to help me"

Harry shifted his weight from one foot to the other and stared at Sirius. He actually wanted Harry's help! Sirius trusted him enough to help him with the lights and Harry knew that was an important job. He wouldn't mess this up. He pushed his glasses up his nose and took the end of the string of lights that Sirius offered.

"We can do the top, can't we Harry?" Remus asked. Harry nodded, gripping the string of lights tightly as Remus lifted him onto his shoulders. Together, the three of them managed to string the lights around the tree, Harry grinning the whole time. He had to admit that from his vantage point on Remus' shoulders, that the tree did look good.

"Harry, can you reach to put this on the top? I think you might be able to reach from Remus' shoulders" Harry grinned and reached down to take the waving Santa Claus from Sirius. Remus stood up straight and Harry stretched up to place the Father Christmas on the top of the tree.

"You got it Harry? Good job" Remus congratulated him, while setting Harry back on the floor. Harry grinned broadly, he felt a surge of pride at Remus' words. He'd done what they asked and nothing had gone wrong, like it always seemed to when he was with the Dursleys. Harry counted that as a success.

"Do you want to help me sort the presents Harry? While Remus sorts dinner?" Sirius added hopefully. Remus shot a glare at Sirius and then walked into the kitchen, closely followed by Jethro.

Sirius' words hadn't really sunk in, until he saw the presents come flying into the room, one after the other. There looked to be a lot there, nearly as many as Dudley had got for his birthday. Harry caught the first one and turned it over, looking for either Sirius or Remus' names. What he saw nearly made him drop the package. His name was twinkling up at him. He hadn't expected presents; Sirius and Remus had already been so good to him, this almost seemed too good to be true.

"Ooof! Harry, are you OK?" Sirius choked out. In his excitement at having presents Harry had thrown himself at Sirius. The man bent down, pulling Harry close to his chest.

"Thank you Sirius" Harry exclaimed happily, tears of joy already filling his eyes.

"For what Harry? Your presents? Harry, did you really think we wouldn't get you any presents?"

A feeling of warmth spread through Harry's entire body. He didn't think he could be anywhere better than with Sirius and Remus. he truly felt like he belonged here and Harry grinned broadly at Sirius. It still hadn't really sunk in, he was actually getting presents! Uncle Vernon had always told him that freaks didn't deserve presents. But, neither Remus nor Sirius had ever called him that; in fact, the two men had deliberately gone out of their way to prove otherwise.

OoOoOo

"Harry, I think it's bedtime"

Harry looked up from the large picture that he was drawing with Sirius. Harry sighed quietly, he and Sirius had nearly finished the drawing. He climbed to his feet anyway and followed Remus up the stairs, Sirius following behind them.

"Arms up," Sirius ordered, pulling Harry's top over his head and replacing it with a red pyjama top. Sirius had brought him some new pyjamas the other day, ones with a lion on the front. Harry had to admit, he liked them. Harry ran to the bathroom, he needed to brush his teeth and wash his face, not to mention go to the toilet. Harry knew that he wasn't meant to wet the bed, Uncle Vernon had been furious last time, and so he had tried his best to avoid that. As soon as he was finished, he ran back to his bedroom and practically threw himself onto his bed.

"Do you want a story Harry, or are you too tired?" Sirius asked, smiling as he saw Harry stifle a yawn. Harry hadn't felt tired all day, but it was as if climbing into bed automatically made him sleepy. As tired as he was, he still wanted a story, if he was allowed.

"I'd still li-li-like a story, please?" Harry choked out, managing to force his words around a yawn. Sirius and Remus both smiled and took their usual places, Sirius sat on the bed and Remus on the chair next to the bed.

"Once upon a time, there were three boys that met on a train. You see, it was a very special train, it went to a magical school and all three of the boys had been invited to the school…"

Harry really wanted to hear more, but he was so tired. His eyes kept closing of their own accord and he kept yawning. Sirius handed him Finley and told Jethro to lie down on his bed. Harry smiled contently and felt sleep pull at him. He let it win; he was much too tired to fight it now. At least he didn't have to worry about having to be awake early; Sirius had told him that he could sleep as late as he wanted. Harry still wasn't sure, but they'd managed to compromise. No matter how early he woke up, he'd stay in his bedroom and play until they came to get him. He really couldn't be in a better place than with Remus and Sirius. Harry had everything he could everything he could ever want and more.

_**AN: Right, I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank every single person who has left a review, put this story on alert or favourited it. It makes me smile every time I get an email, so thanks :D**_

_**I hope you like this chapter, and please leave a review?**_


	21. Chapter 21: Arguments

_Chapter 21 – Arguments _

_Whenever two good people argue over principles, they are both right – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach _

"Remus, I need to talk to you"

"About what?" Remus sounded confused. Sirius smiled, he'd kept this information to himself all day, but he couldn't any longer.

"I have a date," Sirius announced happily.

Remus looked utterly flabbergasted. "What? When? With who?"

That wasn't quite the reaction he'd expected. Remus sounded almost jealous. Sirius' smile faltered, he'd thought Remus would be happy for him, happy that Sirius was finally starting to regain his feet. Sirius frowned. "Alex Harris, from school…we're going for dinner on the 27th. Why are you so bothered?"

"Why am I so – what are you hoping for with her?"

"What kind of question is that? I don't know, I'll just see how it goes. Why does it matter?"

"What about Harry? He needs your full attention" Remus asked.

So that was why Remus was annoyed. He needn't have worried. "And he will have it. Harry is and will always be the most important person in my life"

"What if you fall in love? What if you have your own children?"

Remus was going too far with this. "Who said anything about love, or kids? Remus, it's just dinner"

Remus, obviously sensing he was getting nowhere, changed tack. "You can't do this to Harry. It took him weeks to learn to trust us. You can't introduce anybody new to him"

Sirius stared at him, stunned. He hadn't expected a reaction like this, Remus seemed utterly furious. He seemed dead set against Sirius going out. Sirius didn't really know what to say, he'd arranged everything so that nothing would interfere with Harry. He wasn't an idiot, he was well aware of Harry's trust issues, but it wasn't like he was dating Voldemort. He wasn't even sure if he'd introduce Alex to Harry. It was only dinner for Merlin's sake.

"Who said anything about introducing somebody new?"

"You did Sirius! I know you too well to think you'll take it slow. Harry needs stability"

"Since when does going out for dinner mean that there won't be stability?"

Remus actually snarled at him and took an angry step towards him. Sirius didn't understand why he was so angry; it wasn't like Alex was a stranger. They'd both known her since Hogwarts. Did Remus not want him to have a life? He needed a chance to recover from Azkaban. Harry and Remus were everything to him, but sometimes he felt like he needed something more. Something to help him feel alive.

"Because it's you Sirius"

As much as it pained him to admit, Remus was right. He wasn't exactly known as the stablest marauder, he was the player of the group. He had always known that he was good looking, and he'd used that to its full extent in his youth. He'd never been the settling down with a family type, and yet here he was, looking after Harry. He would have done anything for that little boy, but at the same time he couldn't help resenting the chains that held him here. After three years in Azkaban, all he wanted was freedom. He had that freedom to a certain extent with Harry, but seeing the happy grin spread over Harry's was so worth the confines. He felt like his heart was going to explode every time he saw it. Azkaban had definitely changed him.

"I'm not the man I once was Remus. I don't know who you think I am, but I am not what you think"

"You're right. You're not the man I thought you were. The man I though you were was utterly devoted to Harry, and just like old times, Sirius Black cares more for himself than he does for others"

Ouch. That was the problem with arguing with your friends, they always knew how to hit where it would hurt most. Remus didn't understand, Sirius was utterly devoted to Harry, but he needed something else. Did he not deserve that?

"I never would have thought that you would stoop so low Remus. I just…its dinner. I'm not leaving, I'm not falling in love, I'm not starting my own family, it's just dinner with an old friend"

Remus shook his head slightly. "Harry and I need you. You can't go gallivanting around with pretty women and just leave us in the background"

"Remus, I… I'm not going anywhere. You and Harry are the most important people in my life. I would do…anything for you, you know that, right? Remus, Alex is nothing compared to you" Sirius said softly, tears forming in his eyes.

Remus stared at him, eyes wide as the impact of Sirius' words hit home. "Sirius, I –"

"Forget about it Remus. I'm going to bed so I can be up early tomorrow, to be with Harry" Sirius walked away slowly and then practically fled up to his bedroom, Remus' hurtful words still echoing in his ears.

Sirius didn't know what to make of Remus' outburst. He'd talked about Harry, but he hadn't once mentioned himself and Sirius had a shrewd suspicion that that it was more about Remus than he admitted. Sirius guessed that Remus was afraid of being left behind. He obviously feared being left alone again. Sirius frowned, scaring Remus had not been his intent. He cared far too much for Remus to let that happen.

Sirius emerged from his room and tiptoed down the hall to Harry's bedroom. He didn't think he'd get much sleep tonight, Remus' words were still haunting him. He pushed the door in front of him open and peered in.

Harry was lay on his side, gripping the duvet tightly under his chin. Sirius had already said good night to Harry, but now that he could see the messy head on the pillow he wanted to be close to him again. He crept over to the bed, careful to avoid waking Jethro and knelt down, lightly pushing the black hair off his face. Sirius frowned at the sight of the scar on his forehead, a reminder of that awful night when they all lost everything. He smiled as Harry moved, pulling Finley closer. He really was the best thing that had ever happened to him, despite the circumstances that had occurred to make it so. He placed a kiss on Harry's forehead and leant back against the wall, quite content to sit and watch the slow rise and fall of his tiny chest, each breath reminding him that he hadn't lost everything.

OoOoOo

"Sirius? What are you doing?" Harry's voice cut in to Sirius' consciousness. Sirius opened his eyes and groaned. It would seem that he'd fallen asleep on Harry's bedroom floor. Awkward. Sirius sat up straight and pulled the still pyjama clad Harry onto his lap and tickled his sides fiercely.

Harry squirmed and writhed, trying desperately to get away from Sirius' hands. "Stop…Sirius stop" Harry managed to choke out between laughs. Sirius pretended like he couldn't hear him and tickled him even more.

"Did you say something Harry? I didn't hear you"

"Yeah…Stop!" Harry shrieked loudly. Sirius stopped tickling instantly and looked at him confusedly.

"If you wanted me to stop, all you had to do was ask" Footsteps thundered down the hall and Sirius braced himself for the neurotic Remus that was sure to follow. Harry's shriek, obviously hadn't just woke Remus, but Jethro as well. The puppy was busy trying to jump onto Harry and Sirius' lap. Remus threw open the door, wand in hand.

"What's happened? What's wron – oh, are you OK Harry?" Remus stowed his wand and caught Sirius' eye. The moment of connection seemed to stretch on forever, it was almost like Sirius could lose himself in Remus' light brown eyes. No words were necessary between them. From the bags under Remus' eyes Sirius could tell that he hadn't slept much last night, that he'd spent most of the night thinking about their argument. Sirius smiled at him, they would both pretend like nothing had happened. Sirius climbed to his feet, Harry already on his hip.

"Breakfast first, then a bath?" Sirius asked Harry. The little boy nodded vigourously, Sirius could only wish that his dilemmas would prove so easy to confront. He followed Remus out of the bedroom, thinking about their argument. Remus had seemed almost beside himself with rage. Sirius promised to himself that he wouldn't bring it up again. They'd obviously both decided to act like nothing had happened; maybe if Sirius told himself that nothing had happened enough times, he'd actually believe it.

_**AN: I know I said thank you last time, but I want to say it again, especially to sophia7hogwarts. The site won't let me reply to your review, but thank you so much for your kind words, they actually made my day :D**_

_**Anyhow, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and please don't get too mad at me for making Remus and Sirius argue. I figured that Remus is such a secretive person, that he would try and disguise his own fear and anger by bringing up Harry. Please leave a review? **_


	22. Chapter 22: Normality

_Chapter 22 – Normality _

Remus felt guilty. He'd been awfully cruel to Sirius when they'd argued. There was no reason for his outburst. He could blame it on the wolf within him, but that wouldn't be right, would it? After all, he had no right to control Sirius; it wasn't like the man belonged to him. Remus shook his head. He'd just been scared that Sirius would get an idea in his head and then take off, leaving Remus and Harry behind. It wouldn't have been the first time. He needn't have worried though, Sirius had been right when he said that Harry was everything to him. That much was obvious when Remus saw them together. He still wasn't completely pleased with the idea of Sirius having a girlfriend, but if he was going to, Remus was glad that it was someone he knew.

"REMUS! Are you coming?" Sirius' shout interrupted Remus' thoughts.

"Don't get your wand in a knot. I'm coming" Remus shouted back already beginning to walk down the stairs. Harry and Sirius were both waiting at the bottom of the stairs, both laden with presents. It was Christmas Eve and Molly had invited them all for dinner. Sirius had brought all 9 of the Weasleys Christmas presents and it was these that Harry and Sirius were both trying to hold.

"Floo or Apparation Moony?"

"Er…Apparation? Then one of us can take Harry" Remus answered. Sirius grinned and handed Remus the presents that he'd been holding, leaving his arms free to hold Harry. How typical.

"What about Jethro? We can't just leave him here alone" Harry asked quietly, watching Jethro circle Sirius' legs excitedly. Remus sighed, Harry was right. They would be gone for a few hours and there was no way they could leave the puppy on his own. He shared a quick glance with Sirius and made his decision.

"We'll have to take him and hope that Molly doesn't mind too much. He'll probably sleep for most of the evening anyway"

"Merry Christmas Molly! We come bearing gifts," Sirius announced as soon as Molly opened the door.

Remus snorted. "By we he means me"

Molly laughed and stepped back to let them all in. It was chaos on the other side of the door. Red headed children were everywhere, so many that it was difficult to count. They kept moving! However, they all froze when they spotted Remus, who shifted awkwardly. He hadn't exactly set a good example last time, he'd spent most of the evening bleating about how their pet rat was actually a wizard.

"I hope you don't mind Molly, but we had to –"

Sirius' apology was cut off by Ron's shout of "Harry!". Harry wriggled slightly in Sirius' arms, who put him down slightly wistfully. Harry looked up at Remus, who smiled and handed him Jethro's lead, before the little boy began proudly talking about Jethro to Ron and Ginny. Remus smiled, he almost seemed like a perfectly normal child until he glanced up to Sirius, apparently checking that he was doing the right thing. Sirius nodded and smiled reassuringly at Harry.

"Who are those presents for?" One of the twins asked curiously.

"George! You can't ask that" Molly's scolding voice seemed to come out of nowhere. It made Remus feel guilty, he almost felt like he should confess to everything he'd done at Hogwarts.

"Why not? They are presents, and they have to be for somebody" George replied logically.

Remus felt a grin form on his lightly scarred face. "You are correct George. There's one for all of you, to open tomorrow" Remus felt like he needed to add that on the end, a mischievous glint had appeared in George's eye. "Can you show me where to put them?"

Fred and George both nodded and led him to the Christmas tree, helping him to arrange the presents. Sirius had nearly wept with delight when he realised that there were six young boys for him to buy presents for. He'd gone out and bought nearly everything that he would have wanted if he were still a child. Harry and Remus had both found his joy rather funny.

"When do you start at the auror department Sirius?" Arthur's voice drifted down the stairs. The four adults wandered into the lounge, leaving Harry, Ron and Ginny in the hall with Jethro.

"They've managed to find me a place in the current class, so I start in January"

Remus sighed. He wasn't sure that Sirius going back to the auror office was such a great idea. Yes, it was what he wanted, but he hadn't long been out of Azkaban and Remus didn't know if he would manage. He'd already been severely injured on the course of the job – twice, and Remus didn't know if he could survive a third. Where would that leave them then? Harry would have to go back to the Dursleys and Remus would well and truly be alone, this time without the knowledge of there being one other marauder. He'd tried telling Sirius this, but the stupid man had just laughed Remus' fears off. When Sirius got an idea in his head, it could honestly be said that he ran with it. It was that stupidity that had led him to Azkaban last time, and Remus couldn't make him change that, no matter what he tried. Remus shook his head. Now was not the time to be thinking of that, Christmas Eve should be a happy day, a day for family. And now he had one.

"Molly, this is amazing. I don't think I've eaten something this nice since Hogwarts" Sirius remarked happily.

"That's 'cause mummy is g'eat cook" Ginny answered slowly, as if she thought that Sirius were being stupid to even consider the opposite. Remus stifled a laugh and saw Arthur try to hide his grin by placing a large piece of chicken in his mouth.

"Oh, thank you very much dears. Fred! Stop trying to give Ron your carrots" Molly admonished sharply. Fred muttered something to himself angrily, but at least had the good grace to look sheepish.

"If only there had been someone like that at school"

Sirius scowled, "I still think that was a conspiracy. I think you all snuck peas on to my plate, I was merely giving them back"

Remus snorted, "Why would we bother sneaking peas on to your plate? We had far more important things to do"

"Well, how did the peas get onto my plate then? Because I never touched the peas, and yet they always ended up on my plate"

"Give us some credit Sirius. That would be a pathetic joke, we weren't that stupid"

"Could've fooled me"

"Says the man who was hit on the head nearly every Quidditch match"

"You were on the quidditch team?" Charlie asked. Remus suddenly remembered that they weren't alone and that Harry and the four youngest Weasleys had been sniggering at them for the entire conversation. Remus felt a dull blush creep up his face. Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius launched into telling Charlie just about every memory he had from quidditch.

"So, Remus, Scabbers wasn't really a rat then?" Percy asked quietly. Remus froze, he felt as though he'd just swallowed a brick. This was why he hadn't been so keen on sitting next to Percy. He'd have to explain it to the eight year old though, to the best of his ability. Bugger.

"No Percy, he was a wizard – one that did something very bad a few years ago. He was hiding, and because he was hiding people thought that he was dead. They also thought that Sirius was the one who did it, so he was arrested and taken to Azkaban. But I found out the truth, and now he's in prison and Sirius is free" Remus finished and glanced over at Percy. His mouth was open and he was staring at Remus in disbelief.

"How did you know? That it was him, I mean"

Bugger. This conversation was straying awfully close to subjects he didn't really want to discuss. But Percy didn't mean any harm by it, he was obviously just curious. After all, wouldn't most people be if their pet rat was suddenly revealed to be a wizard. "I knew because I recognised him, we were at school together. I'd seen him become a rat before"

Bill leant over from Remus' other side. "So, is he the one that killed all those poor Muggles? The one's that everyone thought Sirius killed?"

Remus was dimly aware of Sirius reacting to the sound of his name. He wasn't sure if it was wise to tell Percy that his rat had actually been a mass murderer, but he couldn't exactly leave him with the knowledge that Sirius was a convicted murderer. He glanced over at Arthur, who apparently had managed to overhear their conversation from the other end of the table. He looked conflicted but he nodded slowly, obviously telling Remus to tell them the truth.

"Yes he was. Sirius went after him and he blew the street up to escape, leaving Sirius to be arrested" Remus was almost whispering by the time he finished explaining. He hadn't ever wanted to talk about that day again, and yet here he was, trying to explain it to an eight year old and a fourteen year old. Thoughts of that day had haunted him for three years, infesting his nightmares and his waking thoughts. He fervently hoped that Bill and Percy would leave the conversation there. It appeared that Bill had more questions though.

"Why did Sirius go after Pettigrew? I thought you were friends at school?"

Remus stared at Bill. He did not want to answer that. Especially not when Harry was sat opposite Harry and could most likely hear every word that they were saying. He couldn't blame Bill for his curiosity, but he still wished that the boy would shut up. Remus opened his mouth, but then closed it again, unsure of how to dodge the conversation. Molly saved him the trouble.

"Who wants pudding? I've made trifle" Remus had never eaten at the Weasley's before, but he'd heard good things about Molly's cooking. What he'd heard about her cooking was right, the trifle was amazing. Though he did have to stifle a laugh when he looked up, Ginny didn't seem to have eaten the trifle, she seemed to have preferred to spread the trifle all over her little face.

"That's not a good look" George stated. Fred nodded furiously, apparently agreeing with him. Sirius didn't possess the same restraint as Remus and he laughed along with the twins and Ron.

"Don't be horrible boys" Arthur admonished calmly, already wiping the trifle off the little girls face. After trifle the twelve of them all walked into the lounge, somehow all managing to find somewhere to sit.

Remus smiled. Sirius was playing chess with Bill, Harry, Ron, Ginny and the twins were playing with Jethro, Percy was reading and Charlie was talking to his father about something. This was what a family was meant to look like. The Potter's could have looked like this, if they'd been given the chance. Harry would have had a normal childhood if Voldemort hadn't happened. But, they were here now, enjoying a slice of familial normality. They were safe, happy and together; and really that's all that mattered.

_**AN: Hi guys! I know this is up early, but I've had this one written for quite a while and I couldn't wait til Wednesday :D**_

_**I have a problem. My inspiration for writing young Harry seems to have evaporated. So we now have two choices: I can leave this story open and hope that my inspiration comes back in the future, or I can say that Chapter 25 will be the end of this story. Either way, I want to crack on with my take on the books, I have so many ideas! I just thought I'd ask if you guys think I should start a new story, or cut the story off after 25 and start with the books, all in the same story.**_

_**I'm inclined at the moment to start a new story, but then of course I will need to come up with a name, and my mind is coming up blank on that one. But anyway, please let me know what you think I should do. Your opinion means a lot to me :)**_


	23. Chapter 23: Christmas

Harry couldn't remember coming home, but when he opened his eyes he was definitely in **his **bedroom. The blue walls seemed so familiar now, almost like a friend. He climbed out of bed to nearly be bowled over by Jethro. The puppy had apparently been waiting for him to wake up. Did that mean he was late? There was a clock on his bedside table, but Harry wasn't very good at reading it. He could see that the little hand pointed to seven, and the big hand was pointing to six, but he wasn't sure what that meant. He didn't think that it would be a good idea to come out of his bedroom, even though it was Christmas. Sirius had said that he was getting presents and Harry did not want to annoy him that much that he took them back. Harry resigned himself to playing with Jethro until one of the men came to get him.

The door creaked open as Harry sat on the floor, Jethro sat on his lap as Harry scratched his head. A sliver of Sirius' face was visible in the gap. "He's awake Moony! Thank god Harry, I didn't want to wake you but-"

"Sirius wants to start opening presents. He's like a little child" Remus interrupted, smiling at the look of bliss on Jethro's face.

"It's my first Christmas in three years. Give me a break" Sirius answered bitterly, and then immediately appeared to regret his words. Harry was confused. He'd been too grateful that they'd taken him away from the Dursleys, but now that he thought about it, why had he had to go there in the first place? Why didn't Remus or Sirius take him in straight after his parents died? Not that he was being ungrateful of course, he was just curious.

"Why? Where have you been?" Harry asked curiously. He noticed the glance between the two men and immediately worried that he'd overstepped his bounds. He knew that they'd been trying to make him talk more, but Aunt Petunia had always told him off for asking questions. Maybe this was one of those times when he wasn't meant to ask.

Sirius opened his mouth and the closed it again. "I had to go away…I didn't want to, but I had to. Understand Harry, if I could have I would have taken you straight after your mum and dad…" His voice trailed off, almost as if he couldn't handle saying that they died. But they had, Harry thought bitterly. They'd died and left him alone, leaving him to enjoy three years of the Dursleys. Lucky him.

Sirius leaned forward, apparently waiting for a hug. Harry grinned. Sirius gave good hugs, as hugs go. He had big arms that held Harry close and the feeling of being held close would be one he would never forget. His head fit perfectly in the gap between Sirius' head and shoulders and it reminded Harry of something. Like a memory of a memory, something that he couldn't quite remember, but knew that it was there, eluding him. Harry ran forward and Sirius wrapped his arms around him, picking him up and resting him on his hip. Harry rested his head on Sirius' shoulder and smiled contently. Sirius did this every day, but it still made Harry giddy with happiness every time. Today was already the best day ever and they hadn't even got to the presents yet.

OoOoOo

"I think we should open the presents from the Weasleys first, and then we'll listen to the minister's speech. Then we can open the rest" Sirius announced, already holding the three neatly wrapped presents that Mrs Weasley had given them last night. Harry nodded and took the present with shaking hands. He was slightly nervous about what it might contain, it was his first proper present after all, unless you counted the pencil that the Dursleys gave him for his birthday. But he didn't think Mrs Weasley would do that. besides, it looked a lot bigger than a pencil. Out fell a jumper. A red jumper with a lion on the front. Harry grinned and looked up.

"You got a jumper too? If you come here, I can help you put it on" Remus asked, smiling broadly as Harry stumbled towards him. Remus helped him pull the jumper on, just in time to see Sirius get stuck in his. He was stood up and he nearly tripped into the Christmas tree as he fought to pull it over his head.

"Oh yes, very funny" Sirius said waspishly, mock glaring at Harry and Remus, who were both laughing at him. He looked rather ruffled after his fight with the jumper, and Harry thought it prudent to stop laughing immediately. A large black dog was on the front of his jumper. Harry had to admit, it did look quite cool. "It's 11 o'clock, where's the wireless?"

"Sirius, why do you want to listen to the minister? I thought you hated the ministry?"

"I don't hate them. Besides, you should always know what your enemies are doing"

"You spent far too much time with Moody. You're starting to sound like him"

"As long as I don't start to look like him then I'm good"

Harry didn't really understand what they were saying, but he smiled slightly when the two men sniggered and turned to him. "What is the min'stry?" Harry asked quietly. He still wasn't sure about asking questions, but both Sirius and Remus had told him that it was OK, but it still didn't feel quite right.

"The ministry is responsible for keeping wizards safe and hidden from Muggles. They're also the ones that made Sirius go away" Remus explained calmly, pointing Sirius towards the wireless.

Harry's response was cut off when a posh sounding voice began to issue from the wireless. It sounded like the person was actually in the room. Sirius and Remus both sat down, looking at the wireless seriously. Harry guessed that was what you were meant to do, so he copied them.

"Four years ago, I took this office in times of war. The wizarding world is only now beginning to regain its footing. We are only now beginning to right the wrongs that were committed. (Sirius and Remus shared a dark look) While some of the wounds of the war will never be healed, we hope to rectify what we can. Like a phoenix from the ashes, the wizarding world is emerging from the horrors of war, I think, as a stronger nation. But, we must not forget the lessons that the war taught us. We may now be in an era of peace, but that may not always be the case. I urge people to remember that which was lost, in an effort to ensure that it does not happen again.

But most importantly, to all Wizards, Witches and other residents of the Wizarding World, I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year"

The broadcast from the minister ended. Harry was at a loss what to say. He'd barely understood a word she'd said, but he'd noticed the grim expressions on both Remus and Sirius' face. He guessed that she'd been talking about something bad, but he didn't have the faintest clue what it was.

Remus chuckled lightly, "I stand corrected, she sounds far more like Moody than you do"

"Told you so. They did go to school together though. Anyway, enough of the prats at the ministry…Presents!" Sirius exclaimed, moving towards the three large socks in the corner. He handed Harry the biggest and gestured for him to begin opening. The sock was huge, and yet presents were bursting out of the top. Harry was stunned, between the presents he had in his hands and the ones under the tree, he had more that even Dudley got last year. Harry grinned shyly at the two men who were both watching him and then pulled out the first small stocking present.

OoOoOo

By the time Harry had opened all of the presents that Sirius and Remus had got him, it was nearly dark. Not only had he got presents, but he'd got two sets of presents. He had been allowed to open the first set ('stocking' presents) after the Ministers speech and then they'd had lunch. He'd felt like his stomach was going to explode, but he was still able to open the other presents. He was stunned really. There were so many of them.

Ten miniature dragons were curled up in front of him, one for each breed of dragon apparently. Professor Dumbledore had sent him a mini phoenix (like his cats), someone called Hagrid had sent him a hippogriff and Alex (who apparently Sirius had a date with) had sent him a griffin. Sirius had also bought him a dog, wolf and a stag, which he had told Harry were called Padfoot, Moony and Prongs respectively. There was a magical puzzle next to him, which apparently changed what it showed randomly. There were also three flying horses, a kneazle (which Harry thought looked like a cat) and a unicorn. Obviously, Harry hadn't known the names of any of them, but Remus and Sirius had very quickly filled him in. Jethro was curled up next to him, obviously sleepy after being given some of the leftover scraps of turkey and Harry could honestly say that he'd never been this happy before.

"So Harry, what do you think of your presents? Do you like them?" Sirius asked nervously. Harry smiled; there was no need for him to ask really. Of course Harry liked his presents, they were amazing! Harry jumped to his feet and threw himself at Sirius, happiness coursing through his entire body.

"Of course I like them! Thank you" Harry said, barely managing to control the large grin on his face. Sirius grinned back broadly.

"I told you he would Padfoot" Remus' voice spoke from where he was slumped in his armchair, apparently having eaten too much.

"I was just checking' Sirius stated plainly, only moving to stick his tongue out at Remus. Harry smiled again. Today was the best Christmas ever, and hopefully he would have many more with the two men.

_**AN: I really hope you enjoy this chapter, I had great fun writing it – apart from the speech, which was really hard to write. Before anybody asks, I got the idea from the Queen. In Britain, every year she does a short speech about random stuff ;)**_

_**I've decided what to do. I'm going to finish this story after chapter 25 and move straight onto the books. The story will be called "Fight or Flight: The last years of peace". It should be up within the week, so please look out for it. Please leave a review?**_


	24. Chapter 24: A date

Sirius didn't think he'd ever been so nervous before in his life. It was strange; he never used to get nervous around women. But then again, that had been before Azkaban and he was still only a shell of the man that he'd once been and no matter how hard he tried, he didn't know how that carefree, cheerful man back. It was alright when he was with Remus and Harry, but when he was alone, his thoughts became depressing and the memories of Azkaban would start again. Sirius shook his head quickly; today was meant to be a good day. He had a date, when he could work up the courage to knock on the door. He fidgeted nervously with his collar and knocked on the door in front of him.

The door swung open after a few seconds to reveal a petite woman with shoulder length, curly brown hair, dark green eyes and tanned skin. "Sirius! Hi"

"Ready to go Alex?" Sirius asked. He held out his hand to help her down the step (never let it be said that the heir of the house of Black had no manners). He smiled and pulled Alex to the side, both of them spinning into the darkness.

The noise and smell hit Sirius as soon as they materialised into the city. The smell and sound of the sea washed over the both of them as Sirius led Alex along the seafront to the restaurant. He'd been organised enough to book a table, but not organised enough to apparate near the restaurant. What an idiot.

"Alex, why were you in the auror office? I thought you were a translater?"

"I am, but one of the aurors was working on a case that needed someone who could speak Gobbledegook. Aren't you rejoining auror training soon?"

"Yeah, it was the only thing that really, I was good at. Apart from being a menace at school. I want to feel like I'm doing something to help keep Harry safe"

Alex smiled sadly. She didn't say anything, but she didn't need to. It was obvious what she was thinking. Alex had been one of the lucky students to have found her sweetheart at school. Oliver Morgan and Alex had been dating from the beginning of sixth year, and had remained together after school. However, he was a muggleborn and he'd been brutally murdered by death eaters in 1981.

"Does he still look like James?"

"He's the spitting image of James. Apart from his eyes, he's got Lily's beautiful eyes. He looks so like them that I never know if I should smile because they left him behind, or cry because they're gone"

"A bit of both I think. James was your best friend, and losing someone that close to you…it takes time to heal"

Bugger. Sirius had inadvertently drawn her into a conversation about the loss of a loved one. That had not been his intent when they'd started talking about Harry. "Sorry, I didn't mean…"

Alex stopped and whirled to face Sirius, placing a hand on his cheek. "Sirius don't apologise. We all lost people in the war Sirius, but that doesn't mean that we can't talk about them. Yes, it was horrible, but the bad memories don't wipe away the good. I've had three years to heal, its only right that you get that too. You don't need to apologise for that"

Sirius smiled sadly. She was right, as per usual. He'd had his chance to heal stolen from him. Harry was a godsend, he couldn't deny that, but they were all healing – and it would take time. Though more pressingly, he'd ruined the tentatively optimistic mood by bringing up the war. "I've been a bit of a killjoy, haven't I?"

"A little bit"

"Sorry about that. I promise I won't be so depressing anymore"

OoOoOo

Sirius found that talking to Alex was no different from talking to Remus, once they got over the initial awkwardness that comes with not seeing each other for three years. They talked about school and Christmas, but most importantly to Sirius they talked about Harry. Alex had been friends with Lily, and eventually James, at school and she obviously wanted to know if he was still as alike to James as he had been as a baby.

"Did Harry like the griffin?" Alex asked pausing in eating her slice of cherry cheesecake. Sirius had to say, this date had gone swimmingly.

"When he realised what it was it went down a treat" Sirius answered, already spearing his cheesecake with his fork. It was true, they'd had to explain what all the magical, moving animals were, but once Harry understood what they were he'd loved them.

Alex smiled, "What else did you get him?"

Sirius laughed, "What didn't I get him seems a more accurate question. We got him dragons, and horses and a magical puzzle. Oh, and a dog, stag and wolf. I wanted to get him a broomstick, but Remus told me to wait for his birthday"

"Good idea that, or you'll run out of things to buy for him"

"That was Remus' logic too, but he forgets that I was the most creative marauder" Sirius answered happily. Talking to Alex was so brilliant because he didn't have to try and hide who he'd been at school. She already knew the best and worst of him.

Alex raised her eyebrows "So was that you that came up with that idiotic idea to sabotage our Confusing & Befuddlement draught? Lily thought she was a mermaid until we forcibly took her to the hospital wing"

Sirius winced. That prank was meant to get Snape, but Lily had got in the way and it had affected her instead. James had nearly been in tears by the end of the day at the thought that he'd hurt Lily. "It was meant to get Snape, Lily just…got in the way. But yes, it was my idea" Sirius finished awkwardly.

"So your plan was to make Snape think he was a mermaid? That would have been brilliant" Alex answered, trying to restrain her laughter. Sirius had to admit that it had been one of the best pranks he'd come up with; it just didn't work. Sirius laughed along with Alex as the implications of Snape thinking he was a mermaid hit them both. Sirius paid the bill and led Alex outside.

OoOoOo

"I had a really good time tonight Sirius" Alex said. They'd apparated back to her house, and were currently stood outside the front door. Alex hadn't let go of his hand, and Sirius had to admit that he quite liked it.

"Me too Alex, we'll have to do it again" The words had left Sirius' mouth before he'd grasped the true meaning of what he'd actually said. Tonight had been good, and he would like to do it again, but for the whole night part of his mind had been thinking of Harry, and how much he didn't want to leave him again. He had a dilemma to face now, and he could only face it when he was alone.

"Is your house connected to the floo network?"

"It is, but there are a lot of defences on it. Obviously, I can't tell you where the house is, but a letter should get to me, if you put my name on it obviously"

Alex didn't exactly look thrilled at that piece of information, but she accepted it with a small smile. Sirius couldn't exactly do anything to change that, Dumbledore had only let them take Harry if they would put up absurd numbers of defensive spells and he wasn't exactly going to argue with that. He would haave done anything for him, including putting up with the Dursleys if that's what it took.

"Maybe I'll send a patronus"

"That's a good idea. I should probably go, I have to be up early tomorrow if I want to spend any time with Harry" Sirius leaned forwards and kissed her quickly on the lips, before stepping back.

"Bye Sirius. I'll see you at the auror office" She smiled and unlocked the door. Sirius raised his hand in farewell and watched as she stepped inside the door. That was a habit he'd picked up during the war, ensuring the safety of friends. He didn't move until she closed the door, unlike everyone else, he'd never had a chance to adjust the peace. For his whole free life the world that he knew had been at war, and he needed a chance to get used to the new found peace.

_**AN: Only one more chapter left. Still, I have the first few chapters of 'The last years of peace' written and I'll upload the first soon. I really hope you lovely readers will check it out :D**_

_**About this chapter though, I really hope nobody dislikes Alex. Anyway, please review**_


	25. Chapter 25: Family

_Chapter 25 - Family_

"Harry, could you pass the jam please?"

Harry reached into the fridge and handed Remus the jar. Remus quickly arranged breakfast for the two of them; having already decided that waiting for Sirius would be pointless. His date with Alex had been last night, and knowing Sirius he probably needed time to recover. Remus set the two plates of toast on the table and watched as Harry determinedly scrambled onto his chair. Remus and Sirius offered to help nearly every time they sat down for food, but Harry seemed determined to do it on his own.

When he finally climbed onto his seat, Harry asked a question. He was getting very good at asking questions when he was curious. "Where did Sirius go last night?"

Now, Remus had rehearsed the answer to this question, damn sure that it would come up eventually. He wasn't disappointed. "He went out to see an old friend"

Harry looked slightly confused. "Why didn't you go too? I thought you'd been friends for ages"

Remus didn't know how to answer that. How do you explain the concept of a date to a four year old? Where the hell was Sirius when you needed him? "Well, I wanted to stay here with you, and Sirius and Alex wanted to go out, just the two of them"

"Oh OK" Harry nodded, picking his slice of toast up. "When's Ron coming over?"

Remus smiled. Harry had very timidly asked them on Boxing Day if he could see Ron at some point. Sirius had been so pleased that Harry had been brave enough to ask them to see Ron that he'd nearly smothered the poor boy when he hugged him. Remus had been slightly more restrained, but he hadn't been able to wipe the smile off his face all day.

"In a bit Harry. We need to get ready first," Remus answered. Harry nodded and took a large bite of his toast, apparently hoping that Ron would come sooner if he were ready quicker. Remus could remember following the same logic once, a long time ago. The thought made him feel old, older than his 24 years.

"Done" Harry announced cheerfully. Remus glanced up and nearly choked on the sip of coffee that he'd just taken. In his haste to eat his breakfast, Harry obviously had paid no attention to where the jam had gone, so he was covered in it. It was all around his mouth, all over his fingers and there was a large blob on his pyjama top. Remus was in two minds; half of him wanted to run and grab the camera, but the other half wanted to get Harry cleaned up as soon as possible. He knew that Sirius would be most disappointed to have missed this, so Remus snapped a quick picture for him and then picked Harry up, careful to avoid the jammy fingers.

"Mr Potter, I think we are in need of a bath"

Harry giggled and looked down at his top. Remus carried him into the bathroom and began to run the tap, well aware of Harry fidgeting behind him. Remus helped him out of his pyjamas and then lifted him into the bubble filled bath. Remus waited patiently for the gasp of joy when Harry realised he wasn't alone in the bath. Where Muggles had boring rubber ducks, Sirius had bought Harry a moving dolphin to keep him company. It seemed to work because Harry was soon laughing at the sight of the dolphin jumping out of the water.

"Why is there a top covered in jam over here?" Sirius' confused voice asked. Remus winked at Harry and answered.

"We had incident with the jam, it escaped off the toast" Remus replied, dead serious. Harry giggled again and Sirius smiled as he walked into the bathroom. He looked tired, but perfectly happy as he saw Harry grinning at him.

"Ah, jam is tricksy stuff. It obviously didn't want to be eaten"

"Apparently not. Sirius, if you can do Harry's hair, I can go find him some clothes"

Sirius nodded and Remus traipsed out of the bathroom, wondering for all the world why he'd volunteered to do domestic work. He hated sorting clothes, hated it with a passion. He had a sneaking suspicion that that was Sirius' fault. He'd put a flobberworm in Remus' robe pocket as it came back from the laundry at school, and he'd jumped about a foot in the air when he'd found the horrible, slimy thing in his pocket. He hadn't spoken to Sirius for days. Smiling at the tide of memories that threatened to drown him, he began the hunt for clothes.

OoOoOo

"RON!" Harry shouted in delight and raced towards the door. Remus smirked and followed after him, waiting for Harry to ask for help. He was trying to open the front door, but he wasn't quite tall enough to get the right leverage to move the door handle.

"Would you like a hand Harry?"

Harry tried once more and then turned to Remus, a sheepish smile on his face. "Please". Remus smiled and reached over Harry's head to open the door. Arthur Weasley was stood, holding Ron's hand firmly. Harry kept fidgeting next to Remus, apparently wanting to drag Ron upstairs but obviously not brave enough.

"Morning Arthur. Morning Ron" Sirius' voice called from the stairs.

"Morning Sirius, Remus, Harry" replied Arthur. He gave Ron a gentle poke on the shoulder.

"Good morning Mr Black, Mr Lupin. Hello Harry"

Sirius opened his mouth, most likely to tell Ron to call him Sirius, but was interrupted by Arthur. "Are you sure you'll be alright with him? Only I think I might be needed at home, it would seem that Fred and George have hidden Percy's glasses and all hell has broken loose"

"We'll be fine Arthur. After all, what could possibly go wrong?"

Remus face palmed himself. What a stupid thing to say, especially when there are two excited four year olds in front of you. Remus shot an annoyed glare at Sirius and Arthur chuckled. He bent down to say something to Ron, but the red headed four year old obviously thought it unimportant, as he rolled his eyes and said, "I'll be fine Dad, geez"

"Well, you've been told"

"So it would seem. Thank you for taking him, and if anything goes wrong we're at home. Otherwise, I'll see you at about seven" Arthur replied with a smile, before waving and walking away.

"Right, what would you boys like to do first?

OoOoOo

"So, how was your date?" Remus asked. Harry and Ron were playing upstairs and the two men had sunk into the armchairs in the lounge, exhausted by the boys' seemingly endless energy.

"It was good, Alex says hi by the way," Sirius answered calmly.

Remus smiled. "Do you think you'll do it again?" That was the important question, the one that bothered Remus the most. He'd always liked Alex, but he just needed Sirius' word that he wouldn't leave Remus behind. He knew he didn't have to worry about Harry, but he was worried for himself. He knew that was selfish, but he didn't care. He didn't think he could survive being alone again.

Sirius paused. "I think I will. I mean, I do like her. I guess we'll just see where it goes" Sirius grinned, his roguish grin that previously would have had girls swooning where they stood. While Sirius still looked gaunt and haunted, he didn't look nearly as bad as he had that first time Remus went to see him in Azkaban. He didn't look nearly so scary as he had anymore, though Remus doubted if the haunted look would ever truly leave his grey eyes.

"So the old Sirius begins to resurface" Remus said lightly.

"It's taken him long enough. Wait, do you mean the good bits or the bad bits?"

"I thought you always maintained that there was nothing bad about you" Remus answered back, his eyes twinkling.

"Quite right. Though in hindsight I can see that I was a bit of a prat during the war"

"A bit? I think you were more than a bit of a prat Padfoot"

"I think this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black" Sirius retorted with a chuckle.

"Are you saying I was a prat?" Remus asked with mock indignation.

Sirius nodded solemnly. "I am afraid so Mr Moony"

Remus smiled. They'd both tried so hard to get to this point, and now they were finally here. It felt good to have their old camaraderie back. Finally, they both felt comfortable enough with each other to act like they had before, to return to their lighthearted teasing. Remus had to admit, this had been one of the things that he'd missed most when Sirius was in Azkaban. They'd both lost so much, but now they were starting to get that back. But most importantly, Remus had a family again.

_**AN: So this is it. The last chapter. I would like to thank every single person who has reviewed this, put this story on alert or favourited it. It means a lot, so thanks **_

_**The first chapter of the sequel is up, and I would be honoured if you lovely readers could go and check it out, and let me know what you think?**_

_**Thank you all for reading this and giving me the inspiration to keep writing :D Thanks guys**_


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